Rule 5 Survives:
Kum Shoots His Spring Training Wad and Makes Opening Day Roster
Kum grabbed the 5th OF job out from under De Los Santos
Chicago, March 31, 2054 -- Chicago's Opening Day roster has been announced, and the only surprise is that Lao Kum, taken in the Rule 5 draft in the offseason from Twin Cities, has defied the odds and made the cut to be the squad's fifth outfielder.
Kum was one of five Rule 5 picks made by Chicago, but the other four have all been returned to their original teams. Kum survived by having a solid spring and will be new Black Sox CF Jorge Rincon's primary backup.
The loser in this depth chart battle was veteran Manuel De Los Santos, who had been with Chicago since '52 and is now in the final year of a contract that will pay him $1,111,111 this year. DLS has been DFA'd.
Kum proved to be stiff competition for De Los Santos this spring, hitting .318 in 51 plate appearances, and with a .412 on base percentage. DLS, by contrast, hit just .208 with a measly .255 OBP. Kum also offered superior defense in center (as seen in the video footage linked above). Kum is also just 26, while DLS is 34.
Insiders however, say the battle was a close one, and many speculate that GM Mike Dunn chose to retain Kum simply to create an attention-grabbing Team News headline predicated on the sexual innuendo of Kum's name. Dunn denied any such intent. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
