Black Sox Abandon Effort to Sell Tickets by Promoting Long "Ding Dong" Chamberlain's Long Ding Dong
Rule 5 pick sent packing back to Omaha
His ding dong is long gone
The ads used the slogan "Chicks dig Long's long ball" and promised that Long would "go deep" this season. Problem was, Chamberlain basically sucks, slugging just one single dinger in 107 at bats, and his crappy output caused fans to ridicule his manhood. "Your bat is limp!" some fans shouted during a recent game. "You're shooting blanks!"
The club issued the following statement: "The Black Sox today returned Rule 5 draft pick Long Chamberlain to Omaha. We wish him well. Our ongoing marketing campaign, which focused on Long's big bat, will be withdrawn in favor of a more traditional campaign."
Holy shit, is anyone in the stands?The Black Sox currently have a 26-61 record, the worst in all of the Brewster. The fans who do arrive have begun wearing paper bags over their heads.
Sources tell the Black Sox Baseball Blog that the team's "more traditional" marketing campaign will include offering prostitutes and cocaine to those who retain corporate box suite licenses. "Hookers and blow," said our source, "A tried and true approach."
