53.8 Black Sox Players Demand Out, Team Advisor Advises "GFY"

[tylertoo]

Black Sox Players Demand Out, Team Advisor Advises "GFY"

Chicago,May 26, 2053 -- With the '53 Black Sox likely to set a franchise record for futility and general suckage, this blog has learned that at least three players have demanded to be traded:





The Black Sox Baseball Blog sought out comment from the team's new advisor, Leon Ponzi, who is now running the club after GM Mike Dunn abruptly went on an unexplained leave of absence. Leon was perturbed at the question, saying, "You had the f---ing audacity to bother me with that m--f-- question? Do you think I care that these guys want to leave? I don't care! Here's my response, you writing this down? 'Go f--- yourself.' Tell those guys that's my comment."



One player, though, strangely asked to be starting despite the team's horrible start:


This last message prompted quick action from Leon. "Anyone who actually wants to be playing for the Black Sox cannot be right in the head. Most guys would want to be riding the bench. That is one f---ed up m--f--. He's gone."

[Lane]

wow, Lorenzen really fucked up, now he not only has no personality, but also no major league job!

[chicoruiz]

Jim Lorenzen has had one of the really checkered careers in the Brewster. Take a look at his record sometime; it's amazing he keeps finding gainful employment...

[shoeless.db]

Lorenzen was famously traded for a throw rug back in the day. What Vic wanted with that throw rug is beyond me.

[tylertoo]

It is amazing, his history:

• Drafted by San Antonio in third round in '37, didn't sign
  Drafted by San Fernando in fourth round in '38, signed
  Traded at end of '38 to California (Sacramento)
  Trade in '39 by California to Huntsville (Chicago)
  Claimed off waivers in '43 by Charm City from Chicago
  Released in '44 by Charm City, signs a 2-year deal with Jerusalem in UMEBA
  Two years later, in '46, as a free agent, signs a 2-year deal with Tripoli in UMEBA, which I was running at the time
  Two years later, in '48, as a free agent, signs a 2-year deal with Valencia
  Traded by Valencia in '49 to Phoenix
  Traded by Phoenix in '50 to Boise
  A year later, in '51, as a free agent, signs a 1-year deal with Cairo in GBC
  A year later, in '52 as a free agent, signs a 1-year deal with Jerusalem
  A year later, in '53 as a free agent, signs a minor league deal with Chicago, gets promoted to ML.
  He has 53 PA with Chicago this season and hit .128, demands to be starting, then gets released.
  And then gets picked up the Phoenix organization, where he now toils in SA.

If you're keeping score, that's two stops in Chicago, two stops with Phoenix, two stops in Jerusalem, and signed twice by yours truly, once in Tripoli and once in Chicago. In fact his last three stops, Jerusalem, Chicago and Phoenix, are all second tours.

Organizations that owned him:
San Fernando
Sacramento
Chicago
Charm City
Jerusalem
Tripoli
Valencia
Phoenix
Boise
Cairo

[Trebro]

Okay I have to ask: What is the appeal of this guy that he's gotten so many chances? He looks well below average to me.

[tylertoo]

Okay I have to ask: What is the appeal of this guy that he's gotten so many chances? He looks well below average to me.

He
a) plays decent CF
b) has some pop in his bat
c) he's cheap

...or at least according to his ratings.

Last year for Jerusalem he had 24 HR and 24 SB with a 4.0 WAR. Even though its the GBC, he was worth a flyer as an FA in the BBA.

[JimSlade]

I don't know if his appeal is aided by having a z in his name. I think that letter in a name catches attention. I'm only partially joking, but he's also a guy who seems to have an occasionally killer week, or at least he did when I joined the BBA. I've kicked the tires on him: occasional killer week, centerfielder, cheap, the letter z...

[CTBrewCrew]

Sounds like he will get his ring with the Toledo Liberty