The Long and Winding Road of Long 'Ding Dong' Chamberlain
Veteran makes the bigs for the first time in 10 long years.
Chicago, March 31, 2053 -- The Black Sox today announced that veteran outfielder Long 'Ding Dong' Chamberlain had made the team after a superlative and surprising spring training. Chamberlain will serve as a fifth outfielder and bench power bat. This means that Ding Dong, now 36, will play in a major league game for the first time in 10 years!
Long 'Ding Dong' brings his long
ding dong back to the bigs
Now -- in his 20th professional season -- Long is back with Chicago. After being claimed from Omaha in the Rule 5 draft, he had a solid spring -- hitting .339 with 4 home runs in 59 at-bats -- and suddenly finds himself back on a major league roster after a 10-year absence. "We were hoping to have a power bat on the bench and a veteran voice in the clubhouse," said GM Mike Dunn. "Long fits the bill. Just because he's bounced around the minors for a decade doesn't mean he can't bring value to this club, particularly one that is rebuilding with a lot of youth. He has high adaptability and work ethic, which sets a good standard for the youngsters. He's the epitome of perseverance."
"I'm just honored to be chosen," said Long. "I had forgotten how good the food is at the major league level. And airplanes instead of bus rides!"
Sources tell us that the Black Sox also chose Chamberlain because he is popular among female fans, amid rumors that he has a long ding dong, and that could help with season ticket sales.
Let's take a look back at Long's long career:
04/01/2034 Drafted in the 2034 first-year player draft (Round 1, Pick 7, 7th overall pick) by the Des Moines Kernels, and a month later agreed to terms with the club, which offered a signing bonus of $2,060,000.
11/22/2040 Was not offered arbitration and became a free agent.
01/16/2041 Signed a minor league contract with the Phoenix Talons organization.
09/09/2041 Was claimed off waivers by San Antonio while with Phoenix.
10/23/2042 Released by the San Antonio organization.
12/16/2042 Signed a 1-year contract worth a total of $1,800,000 with the Twin Cities River Monsters organization.
11/21/2043 Became a free agent.
01/11/2044 Signed a minor league contract with the Louisville Sluggers organization.
05/01/2044 Did not elect for free agency and will remain in the Louisville organization.
05/01/2045 Was granted free agency by the Louisville organization.
05/06/2045 Signed a minor league contract ($150,000 bonus) with the Chicago Black Sox organization.
09/22/2045 Wins the 2045 Rupert Horn Memorial League The Big One with the Carolina Flight!
06/10/2046 Was selected to the 2046 Rupert Horn Memorial League All-Star Game.
08/12/2046 Released by the Chicago Black Sox.
08/20/2046 Signed a minor league contract ($270,000 bonus) with the Las Vegas Hustlers organization.
11/15/2046 Became a minor league free agent.
02/28/2047 Signed a minor league contract ($40,000 bonus) with the Calgary Pioneers organization.
07/11/2047 Signed a 1-year minor league contract extension with the Calgary Pioneers organization.
09/29/2047 Wins the 2047 WCL (AA) DNL Platinum Stick Award at LF.
10/03/2047 Finished 3rd in 2047 WCL (AA) DNL Jorge Olivas Batter Award voting.
11/19/2047 Signed a 1-year minor league contract extension with the Calgary Pioneers organization.
11/19/2048 Signed a 1-year minor league contract extension with the Calgary Pioneers organization.
03/31/2049 Released by the Calgary organization.
03/22/2050 Signed a minor league contract with the Portland Lumberjacks organization.
11/15/2050 Became a minor league free agent.
02/28/2051 Signed a minor league contract ($2,000 bonus) with the Boise Spuds organization.
03/31/2051 Released by the Boise organization.
04/01/2051 Signed a 1-year minor league contract with the Portsmouth Vikings organization.
11/16/2051 Became a minor league free agent.
02/29/2052 Signed a minor league contract with the Omaha Cyclones organization.
11/09/2052 Signed a 1-year minor league contract extension with the Omaha Cyclones organization.
12/16/2052 Drafted in the rule 5 draft (Round 4 , Pick 8, 104th overall Pick) by the Chicago Black Sox from the Omaha Cyclones.
03/31/2053 Named to the Black Sox 27-man roster to start the season.