GM Misses First Round of Draft
Apparently Testifying Before Grand Jury
Chicago, June 1, 2052 -- Black Sox GM Mike Dunn was missing in action during the first round of the Brewster 2052 Amateur Draft, and sources indicate he was testifying before a grand jury investigating the brazen hit job on the later owner Vinnie Vitale.
As the clock ticked down on the team's first round clock, Assistant GM Bastiaan van de Voorst scrambled to find someone who could make the selection. Designated draftmeister Otto Pyck was nowhere to be found, although he was later discovered passed out in the keg storage room in the bowels of the newly-rechristened Vinnie Vitale Stadium.
"Frankly, we should have looked there first," said one front office type.
The first rounder's grandfatherwas a 60s pop idol,
prompting the Sox selection
Tillie's two tweets were popularSherman, the new draft pick, was also not particularly happy about the selection, tweeting, "Good luck signing me, dude." Sherman is said to be demanding a $4.6 million signing bonus and is considered 'extremely hard' to sign.
Sherman, a right-hander, has an above-average slider to go along with a decent fastball and changeup. He is a groundball pitcher with relatively low velocity, topping out at only 92 MPH. "He's got a strong work ethic and he's really smart," said van de Voorst. "We are concerned about how injury prone he is, but frankly I don't care so long as he can get his grandpop to sign a copy of his hit single 'Julie, Do You Love Me?'"
Front office sources indicate that they're actually hoping Sherman doesn't sign, to gain a compensatory pick in next year's draft when the team might actually be paying attention.
The sources also indicate that Dunn's grand jury testimony last 12 hours. The grand jury was convened by the Illinois Attorney General after Chicago Police ruled Vitale's slaying as 'accidental.' Sources indicate Otto Pyck himself might also be called to testify if and when he sobers up.
