Black Sox Owner Sues This Blog, Blaming Us for the Team's SlumpOur post about Chicago's hot start is faulted
Chicago, July 21, 2051 - Black Sox owner Vinnie Vitale today filed civil litigation against the Black Sox Baseball Blog, claiming our May 12 post about the team's surprisingly strong start effectively jinxed the club and caused its later slump.
Owner Vitale meeting with his attorneys
"Plaintiff's position is simple," the lawsuit reads. "By publishing a blog post that detailed the success of the Chicago Black Sox [hereafter referred to as 'the Club'] in the first six weeks of the season, Defendant effectively positioned the Club for failure. After the post's publication, the Gods of Baseball [hereafter referred to as 'the Gods'] had little choice but to wreak havoc and ensure that the Club experienced misfortune. As a result, Plaintiff suffered substantial monetary and psychological damage that continues to the day of this filing. Plaintiff urges the Court to hold Defendant accountable."
As evidence, Vitale's attorneys cite the team's record on the day of publication of the post, May 12: 27-11, 16 games above .500, tied for first in the Heartland Division. Since publication, the team has gone 25-35, and now finds itself in 5th place, 10 games out of first, and 2.5 games out of the final wildcard position.
Exhibit A: Heartland standings before and after publication
This blog has retained the law firm Forth, Down & Hinchez to represent it in the litigation. The firm issued the following statement: "This is the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit. By pursuing this action, owner Vitale seeks to divert attention from the club's poor play on the field. Furthermore, the suit seems to ignore the fact that there are still more than two months to play, and the club still has time to rebound. As the U.S. Supreme Court has previously ruled, 'It ain't over til it's over.'"
For their part, the Gods of Baseball referred all requests for comment to their attorney, Lou C. Fehr, who did not return our calls.
The Black Sox Baseball Blog was founded in 2032 by loyal fan Millicent Duckworth, who later sold it to the Sox fan club Southside Slobs. Duckworth, now 79, declined to comment but did tweet out a photo of her reaction to the lawsuit (right).
Our law firm immediately filed a motion to dismiss, and a hearing date is set for July 23 before U.S. District Judge Gil T. Azelle.
