Black Sox Fans Erupt in Orgiastic Street Celebration
After Club Notches 4-2 Week
Spontaneous Ejaculation of Joy Dubbed 'Premature' by Skeptics
"Four and two! Four and two!" was the spirited cry as the fans poured into downtown Chicago, dancing, shouting, and in some cases fornicating in a frenzied display of unbridled ecstasy after the team topped San Fernando 6-2.
"We're number seven! We're number seven!" other fans shouted in glee, a reference to team's avoidance of eighth and last place in the Heartland Division.
As the revelry continued into the early morning hours, Black Sox rightfielder Stewart Illingworth (above) appeared on a Skydeck of Willis Tower and, with microphone in hand, led the crowd in the Black Sox theme song:
By 2 a.m. fires had been set and some stores vandalized, though nothing on the order of the destruction that famously ensued after the team won the Landis title way back in '95. Police reported only seven arrests.Black Sox, oh Black Sox
Bloop a hit and steal a base!
Black Sox, oh Black Sox
Spray 'em in the face with mace!
When we go to extra innings
We dial it up a notch!
And if the ump won't call a strike
We nail him in the crotch!
Black Sox, oh Black Sox
Crush a dinger -- outta here!
Black Sox, oh Black Sox
For breakfast we will chug a beer!
Our runners are so speedy
Our groupies are so needy
The nearby pubs are seedy
So we leave to smoke some weedy!
Black Sox, oh Black Sox
If you choose to take a pass
Black Sox, oh Black Sox
Motherfucker, kiss my ass!!
Skeptics, though, felt the celebration was a bit premature, given the club remains five games under .500 and five games behind division leader Yellow Springs. "I don't quite get it," said columnist Artie Bubowski of the Chicago Sun Times. "I suppose it shows the passion of the fans, but it's only one week in a long season. If they do win the Heartland, I hope fans haven't shot their wad." Bubowski attributed the over-the-top reaction to a 4-2 week in part to the shame fans felt last year, when the Black Sox were the butt of a national joke on the game show Wheel of Fortune.
"I can't imagine what would have happened if the team had gone 5-1," he added with a laugh.
