(The scene is a conference room in the administrative offices of the Chicago Black Sox. The room is well-lit, with a large oval blond wood table in the middle, surrounded by modern black and chrome swivel chairs. Seated at the table are General Manager Benedetta Vitale; Asst. General Manager Bill McGuffin; Asst. to the Asst. General Manager Vic Caleca; and Sox Pitching Coach David Brown.)
Sox GM Benedetta Vitale
David Brown: You can certainly call me David …
Benny: Ah, yes … Mr. Brown has offered to share with us his plan for reconfiguring our pitching staff after the acquisition of Mitchell Purssell. As you know, things moved rather swiftly with Mr. Purssell’s arrival, so we made no changes to our staff last week beyond plugging Mr. Purssell into one of the setup slots. But now, Mr. Brown has graciously offered to sit down and explain to us his “Four Horsemen” scheme for our bullpen.
Brown: And it’s a pleasure to do so, Benny! (Benny frowns at the informality, which Brown notices) … er, Ms. Vitale (Benny nods).
Vic Caleca: This isn’t really anything new, though, is it? Las Vegas and other teams have used this concept for years and years, haven’t they?
Benny (scowls at Caleca): I’m not entirely sure why you’re even at this meeting, or how this ties into your Des Moines surveillance responsibilities, but so long as you are here, kindly allow Mr. Brown to proceed.
David Brown
Benny (scowls at McGuffin): Please see that you do. If you please, Mr. Brown.
Brown (starting to look a little nervous): Um. Sure. Well … Vic does have a point. This scheme has been used elsewhere to good effect – usually with a group of two or three so-called “stoppers.” But we have four guys who fit the bill, so we’re gonna use all four of them.
The idea, of course, is to get your best pitchers into the game when it counts the most – not just for the traditional 9th save opportunity situations.
McGuffin: And the four guys you want to use are …
Brown: Well, our four best relievers: Purssell; our current closer, Gilberto Sosa; our left-handed setup guy, Francisco Salgado; and our right-handed setup guy, Gilberto Cordero.
We’ll be designating each of these guys as a stopper who can come into the game starting in, say, the 7th inning – or even earlier if there’s a high-leverage type of situation. Our other guys will all be designated as long relievers, with (Paul) Kemp and (Juan) Nicto also available as emergency starters.
Benny: And what impact will this have on our starting rotation, Mr. Brown?
Mitchell Purssell
Gilberto Sosa
Francisco Salgado
Gilberto Cordero
Benny (purses her lips): You’re not setting one arbitrary count for the entire rotation, are you?
Brown: Of course not, Ben …. Ms. Vitale. (Brown seems to be sweating a bit now). It’s no secret that our young guys have been kind of up and down this year, so we’ll have the tightest leashes on them: David Bates, Romeu Tameiro, and John McClain. All talented guys, but they’re young and still a little rough around the edges. Amayas Moelling and Pancho Germán will have more latitude.
Benny: Excellent, Mr. Brown. We believe this plan has merit, and we look forward to giving it a try. Which, I believe, brings us to how we should promote this with our fan base.
Brown: OK. I’m a little out of my element here …
McGuffin (glances nervously at Benny): Well, we did like your initial blush at calling them the Four Horsemen …
Benny (nods): And since our ballpark is located in Calumet City and our stadium backs up to the Little Calumet River, we thought it would be natural to call these gentlemen “The Four Horsemen of the Calumet™.”
Caleca (looks dubious): Yeah, but we back up to the Little Calumet, not the Calumet.
Benny (rolls her eyes in exasperation): Could you possibly be any more pedantic?
Caleca (smirks): Oh, I’m sure I could, if I put my mind to it for a bit …
Benny (unamused): The Four Horsemen of the Little Calumet doesn’t have quite the ring to it, does it now?
Asst. to the Asst. GM Caleca
Benny: I tend to agree. I ran this by my brother-in-law (team owner Vinnie Vitale) the other day, and he liked it. So, are we agreed? For marketing purposes our new stopper corps will be known as the Four Horsemen of the Calumet™?
(General nods of agreement, except for Caleca, who’s leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.)
Benny (studiously ignoring Caleca): Excellent – it’s unanimous. I’ll have promotions start thinking about some oversized posters for the ballpark and maybe some television spots. You know, I had no idea the kind of following that Mr. Purssell has among baseball fans, but our ticket sales people tell me they’re getting noticeably more calls and that fan interest in the team is the highest they can ever recall.
Caleca: Because of a relief pitcher? These people need to get a grip.
Benny: Hmm. Yes. You know, Mr. Caleca, I think it may be time for a mid-season freshener on your Des Moines report …
Caleca (alarmed): Aw, no. I don’t think so. Not much has changed over there – it’s the same old Cult of Cthulhu it’s always been.
Benny: Ah. Well, then I look forward to your in-person report affirming as much. Thank you for coming gentlemen. Let the Four Horsemen of the Calumet™ ride to victory!
[Video ends]
