Black Sox Beat Writer
Chicago Sports Online
They crowded into churches, synagogues, and mosques; choked counseling hotlines; and even called 911 in their distress.
With the news Monday that the Chicago Black Sox had won their 12th game in a row and moved into the third Frick League wildcard spot, fans across the metropolitan area had a mass meltdown.
“I would call it a collective crisis of faith,” said Cardinal Michael Downey of the Chicago Catholic Archdiocese. “Chicagoans have always known they could count on three things: deep dish pizza is delicious, Mikki Manning sings off-key, and the Black Sox lose.
Black Sox celebrate homer that helped win 12th in a row
Downey said his own priests have been shaken by the unlikely turn of events, some wondering if they'd misjudged pizza or if they should consider buying Manning's new album when it's released next year.
“This seems almost apocalyptic, doesn’t it? People have been asking if it's a sign of the end times, and we’ve been hard pressed to answer them," said Downey. "The only reassurance I can offer is that eight of those 12 wins came against the Pacific Division … if they’d all come against Heartland teams, I’d be telling everyone to get their affairs in order.”
Jeff Cassidy, a spokesman for the Cook County 911 Center, said dispatchers were flooded with calls starting around 10 p.m. when the Black Sox 3-0 win against the Nashville Bluebirds concluded.
“People were hysterical, wondering if they should take shelter – one guy kept insisting he’d seen the four horsemen of apocalypse. We finally figured out he’d been watching the game on TV and had seen an ad with the Budweiser Clydesdales. I’m not a theological expert, but I don’t think the four horsemen would be pulling a beer wagon to Armageddon – although, now that I think of it, that’s not necessarily a terrible idea.”
April Skowron, media manager for the Black Sox, urged calm, and tried to remind fans that the preseason prognosticators had said the team might do well this season.
“We’re just finally playing the way the experts expected us to,” she said.
To which Manny Lorenzo, a fan who lives near Sox Park in Calumet City, offered a loud raspberry.
“The experts? They’re a buncha drunks – and, anyway, none of them predicted the Sox would win 12 in a row,” Lorenzo said. “I don’t know if this means Judgment Day is coming or not, but I plan on heading to church this weekend. Better safe than sorry, you know?”
Jacqueline Hollis, a season ticket holder from Berwyn, wasn’t sure what it all means, but did voice one regret.
“I just wish my dad could have seen this,” she said.
Asked when her father had passed away, Hollis laughed.
“Oh, no. He’s still alive – but I couldn’t pull him away from Tiger King: The Next Generation II on Netflix. I was trying to get him to switch over to the Sox game, and he wouldn’t do it. Kept saying, ‘Why should I do that? They’ll just lose.’ When I told him they were going for 12 in a row, he told me to quit lying and he thought he’d raised me better than that.
“Guess I showed him, huh?”
Still, Hollis acknowledged she plans on hedging her bets.
“I watched the games and all, and I didn't see anything supernatural involved - but I’m definitely heading to confession this afternoon,” she said. “Just in case this turns Biblical, you know?”