Black Sox Beat Writer
Chicago Sports Online
Calumet City, Ill. - Black Sox Owner Vinnie Vitale on Sunday denounced Yellow Springs Nine officials who claim that he or members of his front office staff had anything to do with the struggles of YS9 shortstop Luis Pena.
Luis Pena
“Seems like every time something doesn’t go so hot over in Yellow Snow, they wanna blame us. Maybe we’re the reason their manager likes to walk guys, too, huh? Maybe we’re the reason Mikki Manning hasn’t had a hit record in two years. What a joke.”
That last reference, for those not current with popular culture, was to the wife of YS9 infielder Lucas McNeill, who recently appeared on Dancing With the Stars, but has hit a lull in her singing career of late.
Unnamed Yellow Springs officials have alleged they have proof that Chicago team officials somehow set up Pena – an unparalleled fielder who has struggled at the plate this season – in a scam romantic relationship to undermine his confidence and hamper his performance at the plate.
So far this season, Pena is slashing .258/.332/.388, down from his 2041 totals of .298/.351/.429.
Black Sox officials pointed out that Pena is still on course to put up 2.8 WAR on the season, not far off from last season’s 3.0.
“What you’ve got here is a classic case of a young (22) guy who’s coming back down to earth after playing over his head,” said Sox statistician Maury Polinowicz. “All you have to do is look at his rating sheet from the BBA Scouting Collective to see that’s true.”
Polinowicz shared the Collective’s evaluation of Pena to back up his assertion: Pena’s “contact” skills are rated at 5/5; his gap power at 6/6; his HR power at 3/3; and his batting eye at 5/5.
“That is not the skills profile of someone who’s going to consistently hit near .300,” said Polinowicz. “I would submit that .260 or thereabouts is more in line with his actual skills than .298.”
In fact, Vitale said the Black Sox will be asking that the BBA scrutinize Pena’s league-mandated drug tests for the last several seasons to see if there are any irregularities.
“This schlub batter suddenly hits nearly .300 in 2040 and 2041 when he’s got no business doing that?” Vitale said. “I’ll tell ya – that’s what the league needs to investigate instead of some ludicrous claim that we’re running a dating service for lovelorn shortstops. We maintain that Pena has been abusing Performance Enhancing Drugs, and it finally caught up with him.
“Plus, Mikki Manning uses autotune.”
Yellow Springs officials declined comment, either on Vitale’s charges of PED use or Manning’s show business prowess.
“Bring us something worth commenting on, and we’ll consider it,” said Yellow Springs spokeswoman Heidi Hickman, a former Black Sox front office employee. “This, however, is pure garbage.”