(Black Sox GM Vic Caleca is driving South Side Towing truck CC12 southbound on the Dan Ryan Expressway, towing a battered Nissan Rogue through Chicago. It’s mid-morning, and traffic is heavy. His dash-mounted iPhone rings, and Caleca sees it’s Sox owner Vinnie Vitale. He answers the call through voice activation.)
Vic Caleca: Hey, Vinnie. What’s up?
GM Vic Caleca
Caleca: No, no. Don’t say it …
Vinnie: … and I see we’re just a game …
Caleca: Damn it, Vinnie!
Vinnie: … under .500.
Caleca: Aww, man. Why’d you have to go and do that?
Vinnie: Do what?
Caleca: You said the .500 word.
Vinnie: Huh? I don’t get it.
Caleca: You don’t? You never noticed that every time we get close to .500, we pee the bed and drop back to 5, 6 or 8 games under?
Vinnie: What’re you sayin’?
Caleca: I’m sayin’ our guys get spooked every time it looks like we’re going to be even mediocre. But I was hoping this time, maybe we could just slide by and, you know, get to a winning record.
Vinnie: And now we can’t?
Caleca (fuming): No. You said it out loud, and now we’re screwed.
(Caleca slams the brakes on his truck as a white Amazon van veers into his lane, cutting him off.)
Caleca: Damn it!
Vinnie: You drivin’?
Caleca: Yeah, Billy was short a guy, so I told him I’d take the morning shift. Figured if I was away from the park, nobody could mention the .500 word …
Vinnie (laughs): Oops. Sorry about that.
Caleca: (Mumbles curses to himself)
Vinnie: You know that’s nuts, right?
Caleca: No, it is not nuts. It's not. Go back to May 4, we hit .500, and then what happened?
Vinnie: Um. Enlighten me.
Caleca: We lost 6 in a row.
Vinnie: Oh yeah. I remember that. Isn’t that back when you decided to take career advice from some homeless guy in the park?
Sox owner Vinnie "Name Your Fruit" Vitale
Caleca: Yeah. Wasn’t such bad advice, really.
Vinnie: OK. So that’s once …
Caleca: No, no, no. More than that - end of June … we get to 38-37 … over .500!
Vinnie: How do you remember this shit?
Caleca: Oh, I remember it. I remember it - it’s forever branded in my brain … we go 2-7, and we’re back under .500 again …
Vinnie: Ummm …
Caleca: Then, early August … we claw back to 3 under .500 … and then we go 1-6 … back to 8 under …
Vinnie: You think maybe you oughta pull over and collect yourself?
Caleca (a note of hysteria in his voice): And now … NOW we go 5-1 and pull to within one game of .500, and what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
Vinnie: Jesus, Vic. Calm down.
Caleca: YOU MENTIONED IT!!! WHY THE F*&K DID YOU MENTION IT?
Vinnie: ‘Cause I’m the owner and I was happy about it?
Caleca (voice drops to a near whisper): You sick bastard. You just love to torment me, don’t you?
Vinnie (brightly): Yeah. I really, really do. Say, what kinda fruit do you like?
Caleca: Siri, end call.
[Call and video end]