(The camera shows one of the Black Sox conference rooms, with tables positioned to form a square and several large iMac computers arrayed along the tables. Sox GM Vic Caleca and Asst. GM Bill McGuffin are sitting in front of one of the computers)
GM Vic Caleca
Vic Caleca: Yeah? What about Archer?
McGuffin: Sorry, I got a text here … from Pavel Bure!
Caleca: What the hell does he want?
McGuffin (calls up the text, and reads): Oh man … get this: now he’s interested in talking about an extension.
Caleca: What? When we talked last week he pretty much told me to screw off …
McGuffin (laughs): Then you demoted him and told him to go f*%k himself.
Caleca (uncomfortably): Well, yeah. I did do that, didn’t I?
McGuffin: Oh, yeah. I heard about it at length from Pavel and then from Bret …
Caleca: From Bret Richards? Hey, he was the one who wanted to yank Bure out of the closer role!
McGuffin: Oh, he’s fine with that. I think he was envisioning something a little less 'scorched earthy.' In retrospect, I’m not sure the fruit basket was that good an idea …
Caleca (shrugs): Hey – that was your idea.
McGuffin: I know, I know. He thought we were rubbing it in, I think. Anyway … wanna hear what he has to say?
Caleca (sighs): Sure. Why not?
McGuffin (reads Bure’s text): “I am willing to extend my contract with the team. These are the terms I am expecting: A 1-year major league contract with a salary of $3.6 million.”
Caleca: He’s willing to extend? He’s willing to extend? Hmmph. Nervy bastard, isn't he? He lowered his price, at least, didn’t he? He’s making $5 million this season, right? About $1 million per loss …
Pavel Bure, Jr.
Caleca: I don’t think we’re gonna need Pavel at any price point.
McGuffin: That’s exactly what I’m thinking. Our bullpen should be pretty stacked next season, and I can’t see Bure getting a spot.
Caleca: He doesn’t have the stamina for long relief … I don’t trust him in middle relief, setup or, God forbid, closer again.
McGuffin: No. So, what should I tell him?
Caleca: Nothing.
McGuffin: Nothing?
Caleca: Yeah, nothing. Let him twist a little in the wind like he let us twist all season.
McGuffin (smirks): Not even a fruit basket?
Caleca: Well, send him a melon ball if it’ll make you feel better …
[Recording ends]