Vic Caleca: Door’s open, come on in.
Pavel Bure, Jr.
(Sox relief pitcher Pavel Bure, Jr., walks in and, confidently, strides towards the chairs.)
Bure: Hey, Caleca. Got your message that you wanted to see me.
Caleca (frowns): Uh huh. (Looks at his computer screen). I have an email here from you saying you want to talk about a contract extension.
Bure (looks surprised): What? I don’t want to talk about an extension. I’m gonna try free agency. I told you that at the start of the season, and I haven’t changed my mind.
(Caleca pushes a button on his computer keyboard and the email message displays itself, as a hologram, suspended in mid-air between the two men.
(The message reads:
(“Hello Vic,
(I am sure you are aware that this is the last year of my contract. If your intention is to offer an extension, then let’s start negotiations soon. I really want to continue playing for this team.
(Thanks,
Pavel Bure, Jr.)
Caleca: So you’re telling me you didn’t send this?
Bure: Hell no. I do not want to keep playing for this team … unless I get some serious green outta you.
Caleca: Huh. So, who sent this, would you guess? If it wasn’t you, I mean.
Bure: How the hell should I know? Ukranian hackers? Or maybe Brinson is screwing around with you …
Caleca: Yeah, well, I’m gonna guess that Ukranian hackers don’t really give a shit about where you play next year, or even if you play next year. And I know Frits – he wouldn’t screw around with a teammate like that. Now Soto or Diaz, maybe. They're a couple of pranksters. But not Frits.
Bure: OK. Whatever. So, I don’t want an extension. We done here?
Caleca: Not quite … I got a couple of things for you to ponder. First off, Bret Richards was going to tell you later, but I’m gonna tell you now: we’re taking you out of the closer role.
Bure (looks a little unsure): Yeah? What, starting rotation, then?
GM Vic Caleca
Bure: What then?
Caleca: We were thinking long relief, but you don’t actually have the stamina of a fruit fly, so we’re sticking you in middle relief …
Bure: Yeah?
Caleca: Yeah. In low leverage situations. If the game’s on the line, we don’t want you anywhere near the mound.
Bure: F*&k you, Caleca. (Stands, and turns to go).
Caleca: Hope that free agency works out for you, Pavel. There’s a big market for relief guys who can’t hold a lead to save their lives … maybe Ukranian hackers screwed with your changeup, too.
(Bure stops, seems to want to say something, then storms out the door. Caleca reaches down, pushes the intercom button, and Asst. GM Bill McGuffin answers.)
Bill McGuffin: Hey, Vic. You need something?
Caleca: Yeah, I had a little chat with Bure. Turns out he doesn’t want an extension after all.
McGuffin: Well, that’s a relief.
Caleca: You’re tellin’ me. I gave him the news about middle relief. Thought I'd spare Bret that one … Pavel's, um, not a happy camper.
McGuffin (whistles): Wow, I bet not … hey, you want I should send him a fruit basket?
Caleca (pauses): Sure. Why not? A fruit basket is never inappropriate.
[Video clip ends]
