Sox Scoops 40.153: "Of Yellow Snow, Poop Spills, And Fruit Baskets"

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Sox Scoops 40.153: "Of Yellow Snow, Poop Spills, And Fruit Baskets"

Post by HoosierVic » Mon Nov 18, 2019 1:08 pm

[iMac video clip]

(The camera shows the office of Black Sox owner Vinnie Vitale, who is speaking into a video phone on his desk. His sumptuous office has cherry wood wall paneling with hand tooled crown moulding and a fireplace at one end. Oil paintings of former Black Sox greats decorate most of the walls, but over the fireplace is a large painting of a South Side Towing truck. Vinnie is talking with Mickey Mancini, one of his "fixers," over a secure, scrambled line. He is visibly distraught.)

Vinnie Vitale: Damn it, Mickey. Why’d the dump take place in the afternoon, anyway? I thought your supposed tech whiz had timed it for something like 3 a.m. when no one would be on the highway. People got hurt, and that is not what I wanted.

Image
Sox Owner Vinnie "Fruit Basket" Vitale
Mickey Mancini: I know, I know. The code was set for a 24-hour clock and he got his a.m. and p.m. confused.

Vinnie: Jesus. What kinda moron is this guy?

Mickey: He’s brilliant at coding, but has a little trouble with his o'clocks. Plus, he's in Ukraine - I think he got his time zones screwed up.

Vinnie: For God’s sake. Tell me he at least got that doe into that Portland PC OK …

Mickey: Yeah, well, he didn’t have anything to do with that. Like we discussed, one of my best guys went into that little stats firm more than a month ago and planted it with a thumb drive. The code will look like it came out of the Ukraine - 'cause it did - and the thumb drive has been destroyed …

Vinnie: Yeah? How?

Mickey: We slipped it into the pocket of a dearly departed, um, colleague of ours who was cremated a couple of weeks ago. There’s nothin’ left but ash, and that’s been scattered.

Vinnie: Scattered where?

Mickey (snickers): In the Boise Spuds stadium parking lot …

Vinnie (cracks a slight smile): Yeah. That’s good. Take that, Sneaky Joe. Ok, so that code gets traced to …

Mickey: … the Ukraine, and how it wound up in that Portland company's system is gonna be anybody’s guess …

Vinnie: And that company does stats work for the Lumberheads?

Image
Mickey "I Know Bag Jobs" Mancini

Mickey: Exactly.

Vinnie: OK. So the feds will be trying to figure out a Portland-Ukraine connection that'll go nowhere?

Mickey: That's how it'll go.

Vinnie: So it ties the Lumberheads in knots for awhile, but nothin' really comes of it. Ok. Well, now I’m gonna have to figure out what to do about Yellow Snow. Whaddaya think of this? I say we’re horrified by this terrible accident, we have no idea what happened, we cooperate fully with the Feds and the Yellow Snow cops, since we know they won’t find nothing, and I offer to personally pay whatever medical expenses aren’t covered by Medicare-For-Some …

Mickey: Sure, that all sounds good. A little expensive, maybe …

Vinnie: It’s a drop in the bucket, Mickey my man. Plus, I’m saving all that money on payroll with the Black Sox, anyway. Hell, that Rutledge contract we dumped on Sneaky Joe oughta pay this all by itself.

Mickey: Yeah. I always liked Norris, though …

Vinnie (shrugs): Yeah, me, too. We sent him a fruit basket when he left.

Mickey: Nice gesture.

Image
Vinnie: I thought so. Fruit baskets are never inappropriate ... Maybe I'll send some down to Yellow Snow ... (Musing alound) You know, maybe I’ll shut down Agri-Green completely after this. It’s kind of a loser, anyway - and now its reputation is shot. The big money's really in coal ash and nuke byproducts, anyway. Pig shit only takes you so far.

Mickey (sounds bewildered): Couldn't tell ya, boss. I know bag jobs, not high finance.

Vinnie (laughs): It’s OK, Mickey. Ya know, now that I’m thinkin’ of it, I gotta get a correction outta that Yellow Snow media account. They said Southside Towing was transporting that shit, but it was all Agri-Green. Can’t have Southside’s reputation take a hit in this.

Mickey: Southside has a reputation?

Vinnie (sounding hurt): Of course, it does. We’re the finest roadside towing service in Chicagoland. You should try us some time!

Mickey (sounding dubious): Yeah, boss. I’ll keep it in mind.

Vinnie: You do that. OK, I gotta go be magnanimous now.

Mickey: Let me know how that works out …

[Call and video end]

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Re: Sox Scoops 40.153: "Of Yellow Snow, Poop Spills, And Fruit Baskets"

Post by jleddy » Mon Nov 18, 2019 1:39 pm

This has turned dark.
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Re: Sox Scoops 40.153: "Of Yellow Snow, Poop Spills, And Fruit Baskets"

Post by RonCo » Mon Nov 18, 2019 1:46 pm

And fun!
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Re: Sox Scoops 40.153: "Of Yellow Snow, Poop Spills, And Fruit Baskets"

Post by HoosierVic » Mon Nov 18, 2019 2:08 pm

jleddy wrote:
Mon Nov 18, 2019 1:39 pm
This has turned dark.
How can it be dark with fruit baskets?

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