Sox Scoops 40.71: "Of Portland, Master Plans, and Blueprints"
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 11:35 am
[iPhone XXI video clip begins]
(It’s a bright Monday morning and Black Sox GM Vic Caleca is driving southbound on Chicago’s Dan Ryan Expressway in South Side Tow Truck CC09, hauling a late-model Jeep Cherokee to the company’s Dalton impound lot. Caleca’s dash-mounted iPhone rings. The caller is Sox owner Vinnie Vitale, so Caleca answers.)
Vic Caleca: Vinnie! What’s up?
Vinnie Vitale: Hey, Vic. I got a question.
Caleca (warily): Yeah?
Vinnie: Do we got a plan?
Sox owner Vinnie™ Vitale™
Caleca: A plan? For what?
Vinnie: You know, for the Sox.
Caleca: Well, sure. We’ve got a lot of plans. Why do you ask?
Vinnie: So, I was readin’ last night …
Caleca: You were reading? Really?
Vinnie (sounding hurt): Of course I was readin’. I read a lot.
Caleca: OK, OK. So, you were reading …
Vinnie (warming to the subject again): Yeah, I was readin’ something on the Portland team website, and they were talkin’ about how they got a new Master Plan™ and how it’s better than The Plan™ in Charlotte.
Caleca: Um. OK.
Vinnie: So, I was wondering – do we got a plan like that?
Caleca: Well, sure. I mean, we don’t call it anything, but you know the philosophy we’re following: emphasize pitching, especially groundball pitchers who have good movement on their pitches; emphasize excellent fielding, especially at key spots like shortstop and center field …
Vinnie: Yeah, yeah. That’s all great. But what do we call it?
Caleca: I don’t think we call it anything … that’s just our … philosophy.
Vinnie: Hmmm. The Philosophy™ ... Nah. Sounds too highfalutin.
Caleca: Wait a minute. Are you saying you want to name our philosophy something? I don’t get it – why do we want to do that?
Vinnie: So we don’t fall behind Portland and Charlotte.
Caleca: Vinnie, we’re ahead of both of them in the won/loss columns.
Vinnie: Yeah, yeah. But we’re behind ‘em in the intellectual property wars.
Caleca: The what?
Vinnie: You know. Intellectual property. Stuff we can trademark and then sue if anybody uses it!
Caleca: Jesus, Vinnie. Why do we need that?
Vinnie: ‘Cause it sounds awesome. “We’re Portland and we’re following our Master Plan.” Like that.
Caleca: Uhhh …
Vinnie: So what could we call our … philosophy. Besides “our philosophy.”
GM Vic Caleca
Caleca: You mean a name? Like “The Strategy” or something like that?
Vinnie: Yeah. Only I’m not sure I like that … I mean, it’s OK, but something with a little more pizzazz.
Caleca: The Stratagem? The Tactics?
Vinnie: Nah. Those are too highfalutin, too.
Caleca: Well, geez, Vinnie. I don’t know that we even really have a blueprint worth calling …
Vinnie: That’s it!
Caleca: What?
Vinnie: The Blueprint™. That’s perfect.
Caleca: Oh for God’s sake. Vinnie …
Vinnie: I’m gonna call Manny and get him goin’ on this.
Caleca: Manny? You mean Manny Peña, our pitcher? What’s he got …
Vinnie: No, no. Manny Moretti, one of my attorneys. We gotta get out ahead of this. So, when you’re talkin’ about who we’re signing or drafting or whatever, you just casually mention that we’re following “The Blueprint™.”
Caleca (signaling right to take the I-94 exit towards the Bishop Ford Expressway): Vinnie, that’s gonna sound ridiculous.
Vinnie: No. It’s gonna sound awesome. We can tell that Wilson fella in Portland to suck it. What’s a Master Plan compared to a Blueprint?
Caleca (slaps his forehead with his left hand): Good grief, Vinnie. Why do we have to call it anything? Besides, you can’t trademark something like blueprint. That’s a common term. Hell, my high school newspaper was called The Blueprint.
Vinnie: Yeah? Where’d you go to high school?
Caleca: Downers Grove … Downers Grove South. Why?
Vinnie: Oh yeah. Downers Grove. One of the western ‘burbs. That’s good. I’ll have Manny get a “cease and desist” letter out to ‘em this afternoon.
Caleca: Damn it, Vinnie. Leave my high school out of this!
Vinnie: OK, Vic. Gotta go. Hey, the Sox did good last week. Tell ‘em to keep followin’ The Blueprint™! Damn … I love that.
Caleca: Vinnie ….
[Call and video both end]
(It’s a bright Monday morning and Black Sox GM Vic Caleca is driving southbound on Chicago’s Dan Ryan Expressway in South Side Tow Truck CC09, hauling a late-model Jeep Cherokee to the company’s Dalton impound lot. Caleca’s dash-mounted iPhone rings. The caller is Sox owner Vinnie Vitale, so Caleca answers.)
Vic Caleca: Vinnie! What’s up?
Vinnie Vitale: Hey, Vic. I got a question.
Caleca (warily): Yeah?
Vinnie: Do we got a plan?
Sox owner Vinnie™ Vitale™
Caleca: A plan? For what?
Vinnie: You know, for the Sox.
Caleca: Well, sure. We’ve got a lot of plans. Why do you ask?
Vinnie: So, I was readin’ last night …
Caleca: You were reading? Really?
Vinnie (sounding hurt): Of course I was readin’. I read a lot.
Caleca: OK, OK. So, you were reading …
Vinnie (warming to the subject again): Yeah, I was readin’ something on the Portland team website, and they were talkin’ about how they got a new Master Plan™ and how it’s better than The Plan™ in Charlotte.
Caleca: Um. OK.
Vinnie: So, I was wondering – do we got a plan like that?
Caleca: Well, sure. I mean, we don’t call it anything, but you know the philosophy we’re following: emphasize pitching, especially groundball pitchers who have good movement on their pitches; emphasize excellent fielding, especially at key spots like shortstop and center field …
Vinnie: Yeah, yeah. That’s all great. But what do we call it?
Caleca: I don’t think we call it anything … that’s just our … philosophy.
Vinnie: Hmmm. The Philosophy™ ... Nah. Sounds too highfalutin.
Caleca: Wait a minute. Are you saying you want to name our philosophy something? I don’t get it – why do we want to do that?
Vinnie: So we don’t fall behind Portland and Charlotte.
Caleca: Vinnie, we’re ahead of both of them in the won/loss columns.
Vinnie: Yeah, yeah. But we’re behind ‘em in the intellectual property wars.
Caleca: The what?
Vinnie: You know. Intellectual property. Stuff we can trademark and then sue if anybody uses it!
Caleca: Jesus, Vinnie. Why do we need that?
Vinnie: ‘Cause it sounds awesome. “We’re Portland and we’re following our Master Plan.” Like that.
Caleca: Uhhh …
Vinnie: So what could we call our … philosophy. Besides “our philosophy.”
GM Vic Caleca
Vinnie: Yeah. Only I’m not sure I like that … I mean, it’s OK, but something with a little more pizzazz.
Caleca: The Stratagem? The Tactics?
Vinnie: Nah. Those are too highfalutin, too.
Caleca: Well, geez, Vinnie. I don’t know that we even really have a blueprint worth calling …
Vinnie: That’s it!
Caleca: What?
Vinnie: The Blueprint™. That’s perfect.
Caleca: Oh for God’s sake. Vinnie …
Vinnie: I’m gonna call Manny and get him goin’ on this.
Caleca: Manny? You mean Manny Peña, our pitcher? What’s he got …
Vinnie: No, no. Manny Moretti, one of my attorneys. We gotta get out ahead of this. So, when you’re talkin’ about who we’re signing or drafting or whatever, you just casually mention that we’re following “The Blueprint™.”
Caleca (signaling right to take the I-94 exit towards the Bishop Ford Expressway): Vinnie, that’s gonna sound ridiculous.
Vinnie: No. It’s gonna sound awesome. We can tell that Wilson fella in Portland to suck it. What’s a Master Plan compared to a Blueprint?
Caleca (slaps his forehead with his left hand): Good grief, Vinnie. Why do we have to call it anything? Besides, you can’t trademark something like blueprint. That’s a common term. Hell, my high school newspaper was called The Blueprint.
Vinnie: Yeah? Where’d you go to high school?
Caleca: Downers Grove … Downers Grove South. Why?
Vinnie: Oh yeah. Downers Grove. One of the western ‘burbs. That’s good. I’ll have Manny get a “cease and desist” letter out to ‘em this afternoon.
Caleca: Damn it, Vinnie. Leave my high school out of this!
Vinnie: OK, Vic. Gotta go. Hey, the Sox did good last week. Tell ‘em to keep followin’ The Blueprint™! Damn … I love that.
Caleca: Vinnie ….
[Call and video both end]