(Black Sox General Manager Vic Caleca is pacing back and forth in the lobby of the Sarasota Holiday Inn Express, which the team is using as its Spring Training “headquarters.” Caleca has just dialed up team owner Vinnie Vitale, who has taken the call.)
Vic Caleca (with forced jocularity): Hey! Vinnie! What’s up in beautiful downtown Calumet City?
Vinnie Vitale (immediately suspicious): Not much. What happened now?
G.M. Caleca
Vinnie: No. No, they can’t. This is when I get my beauty sleep, Caleca. This better be good.
Caleca: Oh, believe me, it’s good. At least I think it’s good … (in a small, small voice) … hope it’s good.
Vinnie: Crap. Spill. What’d you do?
Caleca (brightens): Well. Remember when you said I could make a trade … one trade … and see how it goes?
Vinnie (wary): Yeah …
Caleca: Well, I made a trade.
Vinnie: Weren’t you supposed to run any trades by me first?
Caleca: Yeah, about that …
Vinnie: Jesus, Caleca. Never mind. OK. Who’d you trade?
Caleca: Um, I might’ve traded (his voice gets smaller and smaller) Norris Rutledge.
Vinnie: Did you say Norris Rutledge?
Caleca: Maybe. Maybe I did.
Norris Rutledge
Caleca: The thing is, Vinnie, he wasn’t going to be playing much for us ‘cause of Cochran and Lugo and Simpson.
Vinnie (fuming now): Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Mr. Genius GM, where’d you send our boy Norris … and who the hell did we get for him?
Caleca: Ok. Sure. We traded him to Boise …
Vinnie (yelling now): Tell me you did not trade Norris Rutledge to Sneaky Joe.
Caleca: Well, yeah, I did. But he was really good to deal with … he understood what we were trying to do and tried to help.
Vinnie: Yeah. Sure. Typical Sneaky. Trying to help. Right.
Caleca: He did, though.
Vinnie: So, genius guy. Who’d we get?
Caleca: OK. Right. Well, we got Joaquín Torres - he’s a brilliant fielder at all the tough infield positions - and we got Shannon Morrison, who’s a real talented young minor league shortstop.
Joaquín Torres
Caleca: Well, he doesn’t really hit as such …
Vinnie: As such? What do you mean he doesn’t hit as such?
Caleca: Well, he doesn’t really hit. But that’s not why we got him. He’s gonna be our late inning defensive insurance at second, third or short. He’s an elite fielder.
Vinnie: So, what, like a utility infielder? Isn’t that why we’ve got Fergie Nintendo?
Caleca (Looking stunned, sits down in a lobby chair and rubs his eyes): Who the hell? Fergie Nintendo … are you … are you talking about Fernando Navarro?
Vinnie: Yeah, that kid who was real hot in Spring Training last year and then sucked.
Caleca: Well, I wouldn’t say he sucked, but yeah he cooled off.
Vinnie: You kept telling me we had him for his glove.
Caleca: And we did … we do! But Torres is better. And the kid, Morrison, will be one of our best infield prospects.
Shannon Morrison
Vinnie: So, what you’re telling me is we shipped our best home run hitter off to Pocatello …
Caleca: Boise …
Vinnie: … for a guy who can’t hit squat …
Caleca: … but he’s a great fielder …
Vinnie: … And some kid who won’t be in Chicago for years …
Caleca: … a bright young prospect.
Vinnie: Damn, Caleca.
Caleca: Well, OK, Vinnie. If it helps, look at it this way: we were gonna be paying Norris $10 million a year for the next two years to sit on his butt.
Vinnie: Wait. What now? We were paying Rutledge $10 million a year?
Caleca: Yeah, Vinnie, I thought you knew that.
Vinnie: I’m kinda fuzzy on details. So, we were gonna pay Rutledge $10 million?
Caleca: Actually, $20 million - $10 million this year, $10 million next year.
Vinnie (suddenly suspicious): What’re we gonna pay Torquemada?
Caleca: Torquemada? Really? OK, we’re going to pay Torres about $640,000. And Morrison’s on a minor league contract.
Vinnie (long pause): So, we’re saving … what …
Caleca: About $18 million over the next two years.
Vinnie (Considers): Huh. Well, hell. Good trade.
Caleca (Sounds stunned): Really?
Vinnie: Yeah. Why not?
Caleca: Sorry about Norris. I know you like him.
Vinnie: Yeah … well … tell you what. Send him a fruit basket in Bismarck.
Caleca: Boise.
Vinnie: Yeah, that’s what I said. But, hey Vic?
Caleca: Yeah?
Vinnie: Make it a small one. We’re on a budget.
Caleca: Right.
[Call and recording end]
