The video opens with a view of Vitale’s office inside the team’s offices at the Opera House, filled with packed boxes and empty spots on the walls where pictures had been hanging. A knock comes at the office door …
Voice: Vinnie?
Vitale: Yeah, yeah. Come in Vic.
GM Vic Caleca: (Enters the office, looks around at all the packing boxes, moves some papers off a chair in front of Vinnie’s desk and sits down). Hey, looks like you’re about ready to go.
Caleca
Caleca: Wait … you have?
Vitale: Yeah. You remember hearing about Robert Irsay who owned the Baltimore Colts – the football team - back in the day?
Caleca: Yeah, sure.
Vitale: Well, when he moved the team to Indianapolis, he did it a few days early – brought all the moving vans in early and left in the middle of the night. All those frickin’ fans who wanted to protest and block the move didn’t know what hit ‘em.
Caleca: So, that’s what we’re doing?
Vitale: Taking a page right out of the Irsay play book.
Caleca: Well, hell, I better get packed.
Vitale: Yep. That all? (Takes a sip of coffee from a Chicago Black Sox mug near his elbow)
Caleca: Well, no, Vinnie. Mr. Vitale … I saw your press conference up in Chicago about the new ballpark and saw the dimensions and everything …
Vitale: Yeah. Those new outfields are going to be outstanding. We’ll be able to get as many cars in there as we do in our Dolton lot.
Caleca: Ok. Great. About that … well, two things, really. You said the park would be used as an impound lot starting in October …
Vitale: Yeah, so …
Caleca: Well, what if we’re in the postseason? Those games are played in October.
Vitale: (Spits out his coffee on his desk blotter, starts mopping it up with a Kleenex). Jesus, Caleca, don’t make me do that. The postseason? (Laughs again.) Son, we ain’t going to the postseason.
Caleca: Well, not next year probably, or the year after – but soon!
Vitale: That’s cute, Vic. OK, you let me know when we (mimes exaggerated air quotes) “make the postseason” and I’ll make other arrangements for the cars. (Shakes his head in disbelief). OK, you had another point?
Caleca: Well, yeah. See, those dimensions …
Vitale: Yeah – that park is gonna be a thing of beauty!
Vitale
Vitale: Well, unstock ‘em. Get a new roster. Sign a free agent, or draft some kids or sign some of them foreign fellas …
Caleca: The international free agents?
Vitale: Yeah, whatever. But one thing, Caleca.
Caleca: What’s that?
Vitale: No trades. This is a no trade zone. Period. Nada.
Caleca: But, Vinnie …
Vitale: No buts. You got about as much business makin’ trades as my grand mama, and she died back in ’29.
Caleca: But Vinnie …
Vitale: In fact … since you ain’t gonna be tradin’ – AIN’T! Capiche?
Caleca: (Sighs) Capiche, Vinnie.
Vitale: Excellent. As I was sayin’, since you’ll have a little extra time on your hands over the offseason, what with the not tradin’ and everything, I’ve got a little moonlighting opportunity for you.
Caleca: (Warily) Yeah?
Vitale: Have you ever driven a towing rig, Vic? No? Well don’t matter. I’ll give you the number for Billy over at South Side. When we get up to Cal City, give him a call and he’ll hook you up with one of our training classes.
Caleca: But Vinnie …
Vitale: Unless you’d rather stay here in Hicksville …
Caleca: Huntsville …
Vitale: Yeah, that’s what I said. Don’t worry, I’ll get you Billy’s number. Now go on back to your office and get packed. We gotta get ready to pull an Irsay!
Caleca: (Stands up, gives a half-hearted wave to Vitale and walks towards the door muttering to himself): Roll frickin’ Tide …
Vitale: What’s that?
Caleca: Have a nice day!
