The Huntsville Times
June 10, 2039
The other shoe dropped on Thursday.
The Huntsville Phantoms’ new owner – Chicago-area towing magnate Vinnie Vitale – confirmed rumors that leaked from Brewster League headquarters that the team will be moving after this season.
“Yeah, you heard right – I’m moving this team back where it belongs: Chi-Town,” Vitale said at a hastily-called news conference at the team’s administrative offices in downtown Huntsville.
“This city has no love for anything that isn’t Alabama football, and with our attendance tanking, I asked the league for permission to move, and they said OK."
Vinnie Vitale: Owner to move team
“Originally, they didn’t want to do too much, too fast, but given the situation here, I think they decided it would make more sense to get everything done at once, get the division alignments right and all that.”
The team will be known as the Chicago Black Sox, and will reclaim the logo it used from 1973 until it moved to Huntsville in 2021. Vitale already owns a possible stadium site in the Chicago suburb of Calumet City, but also is rumored to be looking at land along the Lake Michigan shore, near the Obama Presidential Library.
"We've got options, which is nice," Vitale said. "When MLB moved the White Sox out to Reno, it left a void for baseball fans on the Southside - and if there's anything I hate, it's a void. So, we're goin' home."
"Yeah? So?" Vitale said. "You'd rather I lie and say we'll be here in Hicksville forever?"
You mean Huntsville? he was asked.
"Yeah, that's what I said."
Fan reaction to the announced move was swift.
“The who?” asked Ellie Mae Collins, who works at Huntsville Power & Light. “I don’t know about them. We watch the U of A. Roll Tide!”
Eddie Whitsall, owner of the Phantoms Lounge, a bar and grill about two blocks from the Opera House ballpark, was philosophical.
Ellie Mae Collins: "The Who?"
What’s the new name?
“The High Tide Lounge,” Whitsall answered. “Got a ring to it, don’t it?”
Phantoms players, meanwhile, seemed surprised, but willing to go with the change.
“Hey, so long as they spell the name right on the game check, I’m fine with wherever they want me to play,” said DH Norris Rutledge. “Chicago’s a helluva of a town. Of course, Huntsville is OK, too. A little football-happy, though.”
Pitcher Juan Nicto said he will be sorry to leave Huntsville behind, but looks forward to the move – and the uniform change.
“I think I’ll look bitchin’ in those black and white pinstripes the Sox wore,” Nicto said. “But hey, I’ll miss the Phantoms fan … um, fans.”
General Manager Vic Caleca said his team will play hard the rest of the season, and hopes Phantoms fans will come to say goodbye and root the team into the playoffs.
“They’re a small but mighty force,” Caleca said of Huntsville's fandom. “Although, even those folks sure do like football.”
Any final words to the faithful?
“Sure … uh … Roll Tide?”
