21.3. The Dawn of a New Era in 'Bama
Posted: Fri May 15, 2015 2:51 pm
*The entire city of Huntsville stands outside the US Space and Rocket Center with one long figure standing above them on a make-shift stage*
Kyle: "Welcome everyone! By now I am sure you have heard, or else why would you be here, that a new baseball team is coming to town! I am sure you are all very excited, so without further ado, I will jump straight into the Q+A sessions!" *pauses* "Ah yes, you sir, what is your question?"
Country Yokel #1: "Yeah, um... what is dis dere bizball you terkin bout? Is it some kinda spurt?"
Kyle: "Yes, well, it most definitely is some kind of... 'spurt'. Are you not familiar with it, sir?"
Country Yokel #1: "Oh, I ser do love mah sum spurts! Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "Roll Tide, indeed, sir, but that is football and this is baseball."
Country Yokel #1: "How is it not foozball? That's a spurt!"
Kyle: "Well, for one, baseball is a non-contact sport and-" *pauses* "Sir, where are you going? Hm... he must have had something more important to do today. Like replacing the plastic covering his pick-up truck's front window. At any rate, next question!"
Country Yokel #2: "So, uhm, are you sayin no one gets hit?"
Kyle: "Well, sure, people do get hits, it just doesn't involve players getting tackled or anything like that."
Country Yokel #2: "Oh! So it be like NASCAR! I ser do love when Jeff Gordon takes dat dere left tern and then hits dem other people."
Kyle: "Hm, well, when I meant a hit, I wasn't quite talking about that either. See, baseball is a sport where no one gets blows to the head and no machines blow up and-" *pauses* "I guess he had somewhere to be as well... maybe taking his daughter back to school - I wonder why she wasn't there to begin with anyway? Oh, wait, that can't possibly be his daughter after seeing that..." *takes a deep breath* "Anyway... as I was saying, a hit in baseball is actually when a long piece of wood which is being swung by a player-"
Country Yokel #3: "Oh! Like when muh boys get outsa hand and I gotsa put em back in line! I'd watch someone else do dat!"
Kyle: "Well, sir, its not quite like that, either... see, another person isn't physically getting hit, its actually a ball that the stick makes contact with. *pauses* Where the hell do these people keep going?"
Country Yokel #4: "It be happy hour down by da trailer park. Moonshine half off! Yeehaw!"
Kyle: "Ugh... well, I think we might be just about done here. I suppose I'll be off... see you at the stadium next year! Goodbye!"
Everyone: "Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "No, I said goodbye!"
Everyone: "Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "Christ, is that how you people say good bye here?"
Everyone: "Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "Welcome everyone! By now I am sure you have heard, or else why would you be here, that a new baseball team is coming to town! I am sure you are all very excited, so without further ado, I will jump straight into the Q+A sessions!" *pauses* "Ah yes, you sir, what is your question?"
Country Yokel #1: "Yeah, um... what is dis dere bizball you terkin bout? Is it some kinda spurt?"
Kyle: "Yes, well, it most definitely is some kind of... 'spurt'. Are you not familiar with it, sir?"
Country Yokel #1: "Oh, I ser do love mah sum spurts! Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "Roll Tide, indeed, sir, but that is football and this is baseball."
Country Yokel #1: "How is it not foozball? That's a spurt!"
Kyle: "Well, for one, baseball is a non-contact sport and-" *pauses* "Sir, where are you going? Hm... he must have had something more important to do today. Like replacing the plastic covering his pick-up truck's front window. At any rate, next question!"
Country Yokel #2: "So, uhm, are you sayin no one gets hit?"
Kyle: "Well, sure, people do get hits, it just doesn't involve players getting tackled or anything like that."
Country Yokel #2: "Oh! So it be like NASCAR! I ser do love when Jeff Gordon takes dat dere left tern and then hits dem other people."
Kyle: "Hm, well, when I meant a hit, I wasn't quite talking about that either. See, baseball is a sport where no one gets blows to the head and no machines blow up and-" *pauses* "I guess he had somewhere to be as well... maybe taking his daughter back to school - I wonder why she wasn't there to begin with anyway? Oh, wait, that can't possibly be his daughter after seeing that..." *takes a deep breath* "Anyway... as I was saying, a hit in baseball is actually when a long piece of wood which is being swung by a player-"
Country Yokel #3: "Oh! Like when muh boys get outsa hand and I gotsa put em back in line! I'd watch someone else do dat!"
Kyle: "Well, sir, its not quite like that, either... see, another person isn't physically getting hit, its actually a ball that the stick makes contact with. *pauses* Where the hell do these people keep going?"
Country Yokel #4: "It be happy hour down by da trailer park. Moonshine half off! Yeehaw!"
Kyle: "Ugh... well, I think we might be just about done here. I suppose I'll be off... see you at the stadium next year! Goodbye!"
Everyone: "Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "No, I said goodbye!"
Everyone: "Roll Tide!"
Kyle: "Christ, is that how you people say good bye here?"
Everyone: "Roll Tide!"
