21.3. The Dawn of a New Era in 'Bama

[agrudez]

*The entire city of Huntsville stands outside the US Space and Rocket Center with one long figure standing above them on a make-shift stage*

Kyle: "Welcome everyone! By now I am sure you have heard, or else why would you be here, that a new baseball team is coming to town! I am sure you are all very excited, so without further ado, I will jump straight into the Q+A sessions!" *pauses* "Ah yes, you sir, what is your question?"

Country Yokel #1: "Yeah, um... what is dis dere bizball you terkin bout? Is it some kinda spurt?"

Kyle: "Yes, well, it most definitely is some kind of... 'spurt'. Are you not familiar with it, sir?"

Country Yokel #1: "Oh, I ser do love mah sum spurts! Roll Tide!"

Kyle: "Roll Tide, indeed, sir, but that is football and this is baseball."

Country Yokel #1: "How is it not foozball? That's a spurt!"

Kyle: "Well, for one, baseball is a non-contact sport and-" *pauses* "Sir, where are you going? Hm... he must have had something more important to do today. Like replacing the plastic covering his pick-up truck's front window. At any rate, next question!"

Country Yokel #2: "So, uhm, are you sayin no one gets hit?"

Kyle: "Well, sure, people do get hits, it just doesn't involve players getting tackled or anything like that."

Country Yokel #2: "Oh! So it be like NASCAR! I ser do love when Jeff Gordon takes dat dere left tern and then hits dem other people."

Kyle: "Hm, well, when I meant a hit, I wasn't quite talking about that either. See, baseball is a sport where no one gets blows to the head and no machines blow up and-" *pauses* "I guess he had somewhere to be as well... maybe taking his daughter back to school - I wonder why she wasn't there to begin with anyway? Oh, wait, that can't possibly be his daughter after seeing that..." *takes a deep breath* "Anyway... as I was saying, a hit in baseball is actually when a long piece of wood which is being swung by a player-"

Country Yokel #3: "Oh! Like when muh boys get outsa hand and I gotsa put em back in line! I'd watch someone else do dat!"

Kyle: "Well, sir, its not quite like that, either... see, another person isn't physically getting hit, its actually a ball that the stick makes contact with. *pauses* Where the hell do these people keep going?"

Country Yokel #4: "It be happy hour down by da trailer park. Moonshine half off! Yeehaw!"

Kyle: "Ugh... well, I think we might be just about done here. I suppose I'll be off... see you at the stadium next year! Goodbye!"

Everyone: "Roll Tide!"

Kyle: "No, I said goodbye!"

Everyone: "Roll Tide!"

Kyle: "Christ, is that how you people say good bye here?"

Everyone: "Roll Tide!"

[mrbornac]

Two baseball teams in Alabama? The world is ending!

[felipe]

jeez Louise...you should move to Canada instead...frickin 'Bama

[agrudez]

Huntsville is actually a nice, little slice of civilization down here. Golf courses are open all year round and I can walk Twilight for 15-20 on even the nice courses, too. And don't even get me started on the cost of living... 2800 sq ft for 180K? Be lucky to get 1000 sq ft for that back home in Jersey.

[aaronweiner]

Huntsville is actually a nice, little slice of civilization down here. Golf courses are open all year round and I can walk Twilight for 15-20 on even the nice courses, too. And don't even get me started on the cost of living... 2800 sq ft for 180K? Be lucky to get 1000 sq ft for that back home in Jersey.

Oh, I totally get this. I plan on retiring to a Third World nation myself.

Unless I stick with my plan of retiring to San Diego. Mmmmmm...San Diego.

[mrbornac]

Oh, I totally get this. I plan on retiring to a Third World nation myself.

[avery]

Oh, I totally get this. I plan on retiring to a Third World nation myself.

[trmmilwwi]

The Hunstville al'Hooters?

[agrudez]

The Hunstville al'Hooters?

Oh, yeah... I didn't announce the name. I'll get to milk 3 TNs out of this after all!

[trmmilwwi]

Well played Stev... well played!