PM from GM Mike Dunn:
Hi Phil. Thanks for the email. Several thoughts:
1) I don't set the lineups. That would be your manager, Dave Schroeder. If you have issues, talk to him.
2) Our starting catcher, Rafael Elias, is playing quite well, both at the plate and behind the plate. I fully support Dave's decision not to platoon you more often.
3) We are not on a first name basis. Going forward, please refer to me as "Mr. Dunn" or simply, "Sir."
4) You are being paid quite well for a back-up catcher, particularly one hitting .211. Enjoy your biweekly paychecks and keep your yap shut.
5) My coaching staff evaluation of you before I signed you was that you have low leadership and loyalty, and high greed. This email bears that out. Thus, I am rewarding my coaching staff with raises, as they were spot on.
6) The second sentence of your email has poor grammar: "You got guys like me that...." should be "You've got guys like me who...." And the penultimate sentence of your email has a typo: "I'm a a part of the starting lineup..." I respectfully suggest your proofread your angry missives before hitting send if you intend to look remotely professional.
7) What kind of name is Philitis? What were your parents thinking? It sounds like a disease. Did they name your sister Philatio?
That's all for now. Any further communication with me would best come through your agent.
Have a wonderful day!
