June 23, 2046
by Banjo Jackson
Nashville, TN
Not much has gone well for the Nashville Bluebirds this season, in fact, former reliever, Lorenzo de’ Medici, has the third most strikeouts on the team and he was traded six weeks ago. Perennial Puckett winner, Alberto Rodríguez, has been flirting with the Mendoza line all season and Pedro Mendoza’s 10 HR are second on the team, behind lone bright spot, Tony Frost.
3B Tony Frost
The all-star third baseman safely hit in 21 straight games headed into Friday’s matchup against the Sacramento Sad Dopes with his sights on extending his streak, but Warren ‘Prick’ Moore had other ideas. In the first inning, Frost drove a 1-0 offering from Moore deep to right field, but the strong winds pushed the ball just outside the fair pole. Frost was seen jabbering to Moore while walking back into the box calling Moore the little bitch that he is, so Moore did what anyone else would and stuck a fastball in between Frost’s ribs. Frost took his free pass to first with a little smirk.
Little Bitch
“I don’t blame that bum,” Frost said about Moore. “I wouldn’t wanna try and get me out either, so he took the cowardly way out. It's the only way to cool off my hot hand, shiiiieeettt”
After a fourth inning strikeout, Frost thought it was a good idea for the team’s best player to lay down a sacrifice bunt in the sixth inning, knowing that nobody on the team is capable of driving in a runner on third with no outs, let alone from second with one out. Luckily, there are rumors the Bluebirds may add a third base coach next season to, hopefully, prevent poor decision making skills on Frost’s part. A flyout in the eighth put his streak to an end as the Bluebirds lost another game, this time 1-0, and thus, ruining another solid outing by The Wolf and dropping Nashville to 28-48 on the season.
