A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

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A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by recte44 » Wed Jun 03, 2020 4:37 pm

A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
December 5, 2042

The Nashville Bluebirds have been very quiet early in free agency this offseason. Bluebirds fans have now grown accustomed to seeing a big splash or two in the Rectenwald era and are getting antsy.

A caller on local NFAN summed up the general feeling of Bluebird Nation. "We lost all these guys, and we haven't signed a single player that will sniff the big leagues so far," the angry caller shouted. "What the hell is Rectenwald doing? I mean, Best went to the UMEBA for crying out loud! I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo more organized than this."

A quick summary of the "moves" Nashville has made in free agency so far and the mystery callers "hot take" on each one:

Signed free agent 3B Tony Soto to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Bad attitude and a worse bat. Soto couldn't carry my jock."

Signed free agent C Jorge Martínez to a minor league contract with a $30,000 signing bonus.
"If you squint real, real hard you could imagine you're looking at a BBA backup catcher. Too bad he's a lefty and we already have Rodriguez. We need a righty hitting backup. Last I checked there's only Camacho. Not good enough."

Signed free agent 1B Román Núñez to a minor league contract.
"Like we need another organizational lefty bat who can't play the field, struggles to make contact, and doesn't project to develop much more. Yawn."

Signed free agent SP Israel Villa to a minor league contract with a $10,000 signing bonus.
"Hooray, a soft tossing lefty with an underdeveloped change-up. If he's pitching in the big leagues we have problems."

Signed free agent SP António Delgado to a minor league contract.
"Maybe he has three good pitches, but he can't control them and his movement sucks eggs. This guy is a turd."

Signed free agent SP Tade Geertsen to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Then this crap stick is the same as the last guy. Thank you for posting his highlights, Nashville. I'll waste no time watching them."

Signed free agent LF António Cruz to a minor league contract with a $40,000 signing bonus.
"Rather than signing an injured outfielder who is maybe a 27th man at best, why don't you just go ahead and flush $40K down the toilet. Make sure the toilet doesn't clog because this turd will be following him down soon enough."

Signed free agent SP Emile Longo to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Did we owe de' Medici a favor or something? Can't think of another reason we had to sign this Italian stiff. We need a pitcher, not this belly itcher!"

In closing, the host of WFAN played this clip from the movie Major League:

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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by recte44 » Wed Jun 03, 2020 4:40 pm

It was rumored that the caller may have actually been the guy in charge of the ushers for Nashville. This controversial clip was released of him berating his staff last season:


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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by FuzzyRawley » Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:55 pm

For some reason, I get serious FOMO when I see posts about other teams snapping up mediocre minor league FA's. I think I need to see a therapist.
:cool: They say it don't be like it is, but it do!

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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by Fat Nige » Thu Jun 04, 2020 12:16 am

I don’t need to snap up mediocre minor league FAs, I’ve got teams full of them already. I just can’t fit any more in
Nigel Laverick
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Nothing since


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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by jleddy » Thu Jun 04, 2020 1:24 am

Fat Nige wrote:
Thu Jun 04, 2020 12:16 am
I don’t need to snap up mediocre minor league FAs...
...but enough about the Aviators.
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer

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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by recte44 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:39 am

Love Don Rickles, especially this: "You have the personality of a dead moth"

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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville

Post by 7teen » Thu Jun 04, 2020 3:56 pm

Snapping up minor leaguers to win minor league titles!
Chris Wilson

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