A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
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- recte44
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A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
December 5, 2042
The Nashville Bluebirds have been very quiet early in free agency this offseason. Bluebirds fans have now grown accustomed to seeing a big splash or two in the Rectenwald era and are getting antsy.
A caller on local NFAN summed up the general feeling of Bluebird Nation. "We lost all these guys, and we haven't signed a single player that will sniff the big leagues so far," the angry caller shouted. "What the hell is Rectenwald doing? I mean, Best went to the UMEBA for crying out loud! I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo more organized than this."
A quick summary of the "moves" Nashville has made in free agency so far and the mystery callers "hot take" on each one:
Signed free agent 3B Tony Soto to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Bad attitude and a worse bat. Soto couldn't carry my jock."
Signed free agent C Jorge Martínez to a minor league contract with a $30,000 signing bonus.
"If you squint real, real hard you could imagine you're looking at a BBA backup catcher. Too bad he's a lefty and we already have Rodriguez. We need a righty hitting backup. Last I checked there's only Camacho. Not good enough."
Signed free agent 1B Román Núñez to a minor league contract.
"Like we need another organizational lefty bat who can't play the field, struggles to make contact, and doesn't project to develop much more. Yawn."
Signed free agent SP Israel Villa to a minor league contract with a $10,000 signing bonus.
"Hooray, a soft tossing lefty with an underdeveloped change-up. If he's pitching in the big leagues we have problems."
Signed free agent SP António Delgado to a minor league contract.
"Maybe he has three good pitches, but he can't control them and his movement sucks eggs. This guy is a turd."
Signed free agent SP Tade Geertsen to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Then this crap stick is the same as the last guy. Thank you for posting his highlights, Nashville. I'll waste no time watching them."
Signed free agent LF António Cruz to a minor league contract with a $40,000 signing bonus.
"Rather than signing an injured outfielder who is maybe a 27th man at best, why don't you just go ahead and flush $40K down the toilet. Make sure the toilet doesn't clog because this turd will be following him down soon enough."
Signed free agent SP Emile Longo to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Did we owe de' Medici a favor or something? Can't think of another reason we had to sign this Italian stiff. We need a pitcher, not this belly itcher!"
In closing, the host of WFAN played this clip from the movie Major League:
December 5, 2042
The Nashville Bluebirds have been very quiet early in free agency this offseason. Bluebirds fans have now grown accustomed to seeing a big splash or two in the Rectenwald era and are getting antsy.
A caller on local NFAN summed up the general feeling of Bluebird Nation. "We lost all these guys, and we haven't signed a single player that will sniff the big leagues so far," the angry caller shouted. "What the hell is Rectenwald doing? I mean, Best went to the UMEBA for crying out loud! I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo more organized than this."
A quick summary of the "moves" Nashville has made in free agency so far and the mystery callers "hot take" on each one:
Signed free agent 3B Tony Soto to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Bad attitude and a worse bat. Soto couldn't carry my jock."
Signed free agent C Jorge Martínez to a minor league contract with a $30,000 signing bonus.
"If you squint real, real hard you could imagine you're looking at a BBA backup catcher. Too bad he's a lefty and we already have Rodriguez. We need a righty hitting backup. Last I checked there's only Camacho. Not good enough."
Signed free agent 1B Román Núñez to a minor league contract.
"Like we need another organizational lefty bat who can't play the field, struggles to make contact, and doesn't project to develop much more. Yawn."
Signed free agent SP Israel Villa to a minor league contract with a $10,000 signing bonus.
"Hooray, a soft tossing lefty with an underdeveloped change-up. If he's pitching in the big leagues we have problems."
Signed free agent SP António Delgado to a minor league contract.
"Maybe he has three good pitches, but he can't control them and his movement sucks eggs. This guy is a turd."
Signed free agent SP Tade Geertsen to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Then this crap stick is the same as the last guy. Thank you for posting his highlights, Nashville. I'll waste no time watching them."
Signed free agent LF António Cruz to a minor league contract with a $40,000 signing bonus.
"Rather than signing an injured outfielder who is maybe a 27th man at best, why don't you just go ahead and flush $40K down the toilet. Make sure the toilet doesn't clog because this turd will be following him down soon enough."
Signed free agent SP Emile Longo to a minor league contract with a $20,000 signing bonus.
"Did we owe de' Medici a favor or something? Can't think of another reason we had to sign this Italian stiff. We need a pitcher, not this belly itcher!"
In closing, the host of WFAN played this clip from the movie Major League:
Matt Rectenwald
BBA Commissioner, GM, Las Vegas Hustlers
Milwaukee Choppers (AAA) | Reno Aces (AA) | Pahrump Ranchers (A) | Kingston Legends (SA) | Roswell Aliens (R)
BBA Commissioner, GM, Las Vegas Hustlers
Milwaukee Choppers (AAA) | Reno Aces (AA) | Pahrump Ranchers (A) | Kingston Legends (SA) | Roswell Aliens (R)
- recte44
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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
It was rumored that the caller may have actually been the guy in charge of the ushers for Nashville. This controversial clip was released of him berating his staff last season:
Matt Rectenwald
BBA Commissioner, GM, Las Vegas Hustlers
Milwaukee Choppers (AAA) | Reno Aces (AA) | Pahrump Ranchers (A) | Kingston Legends (SA) | Roswell Aliens (R)
BBA Commissioner, GM, Las Vegas Hustlers
Milwaukee Choppers (AAA) | Reno Aces (AA) | Pahrump Ranchers (A) | Kingston Legends (SA) | Roswell Aliens (R)
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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
For some reason, I get serious FOMO when I see posts about other teams snapping up mediocre minor league FA's. I think I need to see a therapist.
They say it don't be like it is, but it do!
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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
I don’t need to snap up mediocre minor league FAs, I’ve got teams full of them already. I just can’t fit any more in
Nigel Laverick
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty
Riyadh GM since May 2046
JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
Nothing since
An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty
Riyadh GM since May 2046
JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
Nothing since
An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)
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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
...but enough about the Aviators.
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer
- recte44
- GB: Commissioner
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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
Love Don Rickles, especially this: "You have the personality of a dead moth"
Matt Rectenwald
BBA Commissioner, GM, Las Vegas Hustlers
Milwaukee Choppers (AAA) | Reno Aces (AA) | Pahrump Ranchers (A) | Kingston Legends (SA) | Roswell Aliens (R)
BBA Commissioner, GM, Las Vegas Hustlers
Milwaukee Choppers (AAA) | Reno Aces (AA) | Pahrump Ranchers (A) | Kingston Legends (SA) | Roswell Aliens (R)
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Re: A Flock of Bluebirds 2043.3- Free Agency Quiet in Nashville
Snapping up minor leaguers to win minor league titles!
Chris Wilson
LB Surfers 95-96
FL Pac Champs: 95
Madison Wolves 99-2039
JL MW: 99-2009, 17, 20, 21
JL WC: 12
JL: 01, 04, 09, 12
FL Heartland: 32
FL WC: 31, 33
BBA Champs: 04, 09
Portland Lumberjacks 2040-
FL Pacific: 50
FL WC: 49, 51
FL Champs: 49, 51
Vic Caleca TN of the Year 2046
LB Surfers 95-96
FL Pac Champs: 95
Madison Wolves 99-2039
JL MW: 99-2009, 17, 20, 21
JL WC: 12
JL: 01, 04, 09, 12
FL Heartland: 32
FL WC: 31, 33
BBA Champs: 04, 09
Portland Lumberjacks 2040-
FL Pacific: 50
FL WC: 49, 51
FL Champs: 49, 51
Vic Caleca TN of the Year 2046
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