July 28, 2042
"All this talk about leveraging relievers, and having stopper rotations and so on has reminded me that I came up with all of this in the first place," chuckled Nashville Bluebirds GM Matt Rectenwald. "The Bullpen Rule of Three has always been a staple of my teams. With Nashville, it's been more challenging to get to a place to implement it, but now we're in that place. It's a damn good place."
The Bluebirds GM couldn't have been in better spirits after announcing that his team had indeed struck yet another deal with the Las Vegas Hustlers, this time acquiring relief stud Javier Garcia. "Having Garcia here makes this pitching staff complete," rambled a possibly drunk Rectenwald. "Sure, I could have probably traded for all three of those arms over there but Garcia has always been the underrated one. Not anymore. Check out his entrance music, it's pretty kick-ass!"
Before we get back to the Bluebirds' giddy GM, what did it cost Nashville to bring Garcia over? More than just this reporter looked at the deal and thought Rectenwald may have indeed had a bit too much to drink. He had to give up the Bluebirds starting shortstop, Francisco Otero, to start. They also gave up recent waiver claim Javier Salazar and in order to make the deal work with the salary cap, the Hustlers also agreed to take on the contract of "outfielder" Alonso Olvere. The concept of getting a shutdown reliever is great, but giving up your starting shortstop with no apparent replacement in order to get him? Questionable logic.
"Don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Reporter," slurred Rectenwald. "We have J.J. McQuade, so don't worry about nothing!"
McQuade? The guy who hasn't earned a full WAR since the 2037 season? That McQuade? The one you were just sending to DFA? That McQuade?
"Well he keeps pissing and moaning that he wants to be a stater so finally I said, ok J.J. Show me you're not a turd," Rectenwald opined.
Bluebirds fans, do not fret. Your playoff hopes are now riding on the back of a player whose best case scenario is to show the drunk GM that he is not compacted fecal matter. Awesome.
Anyways, we got a cup of coffee into Rectenwald and then he was able to logically explain the Bullpen Rule of Three and how it now applies to the Bluebirds.
"Ready? Here we go:
1. Garcia.
2. de' Medici
3. Buckland."
"Now we can set the whole bullpen up the way it works best," Rectenwald explained. "The guy in Vegas knows something about it. We have the three studs in stopper roles, then we have our two next best relievers in long relief roles in Freddy Delgado and Alexandre Doyle. Then we still have Barrera, Anum and recent waiver claim Julio Silva in long relief."
With Buckland and Delgado both in the pen, who the heck is the fifth starter? Don't worry, time for another stunner.
"Let's put Orozco back out there," shouted Rectenwald to no one in particular. "Yeah!!! Almost two years since a major injury! Crank it up!!!"
