January 17, 2041
What was Jerome Delage feeling when the Nashville Bluebirds declined to tender him a contract in arbitration? "Shock, mainly," explained Delage. "I mean they just traded for me. I couldn't understand it. It was true that I wouldn't even talk to these clowns about a new contract but, come on. I'm Jerome freaking Delage. Who the hell are you?"
Nashville reached out to Delage right away, and explained their thought process to him. "We wanted Jerome to explore his options, and let the market set his value," said GM Matt Rectenwald. "He understood, and we stayed in touch."
While it may have taken a couple months longer than he originally expected, Delage finally agreed to come back to the Bluebirds on January 17th, signing a four year deal worth an average of $6.3 million a year.
The plan is to let Delage play third base everyday and hope that he'll work out his recent poor performance against right-handed pitching. He offers decent defense and some pop, especially against lefties.
With the press assembled, Delage was made available for questions.
Q: Do you think you can get back to the promising player you were early in your career?
Delage: "Of course I think that. What did you think I'd say? Are you dumb?"
Q: The Bluebirds traded fan favorite Joey Newhouse in the deal that brought you here. Do you feel like you have to replace his production?
Delage: "No, I couldn't care less about Newhouse. This is the Delage corner now. You better recognize!"
Q: You're known around the league as "Tim's Brother". Why? Who's Tim?
Delage: "Clearly he's my brother, moron."
Q: Ok, but....why the nickname? I don't know anything about your brother.
Delage: "Tim is my twin brother. He always did the right things, I was more of a rebel. So I'd always get crap from family, teachers, etc. asking why I can't be more like Tim. I got so sick of it that I started introducing myself as Tim's Brother. It stuck."
Q: What does Tim do for a living?
Delage: "Here we go again, talking about Tim. I figured you'd know who he is. Most people do, considering he's the Prime Minister of Belgium. So I'm just a crummy ball player and my damn brother is in charge of a country. Guess I'm nothing more than Tim's brother."
Tim Delage, Prime Minister of Belgium
