2037.22 Mr. Indestructable

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2037.22 Mr. Indestructable

Post by ae37jr » Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:49 pm

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Mr. Indestructable
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Tavio casually rides his bike to the park every time he starts.

Ah pitching injuries. It's all the rage for BBA bloggers and podcasters of late. With the league currently littered with more wounded soldiers then a civil war battlefield, baseball execs around the league are calling for measures to stop the insanity. Meanwhile pitchers around the league look scared wondering if they are next in this sick and twisted game of roulette.

But you know who is not afraid? Tavio. He laughs at all your pitching injuries. A man that needs no introduction. He doesn't need his last name posted and probably doesn't need his name linked either. But I need the PP so it had to be done. Tavio is a beast. He's logged over 4,000 innings in the past 19 years and not once has missed a start.

Here is his injury history.....
09/05/2027
Injured (sinus infection), out for 1 day.
09/07/2032
Injured (Back tightness), day-to-day for 5 days.
05/14/2036
Injured (Allergic reaction), out for 4 days.
09/21/2036
Injured (Back tightness), day-to-day for 6 days.

As you can see Tavio has had little blips here and there to prove that he is still mortal. But none of his injuries were actually baseball related. In 2027 he was laughing hysterically at a player who got hit in the butt with a pitch and left the game. There were so many tears in Tavio's eyes that he gave himself a sinus infection.

In May of 2036 Tavio had an Allergic reaction from sitting too close to a cry baby team mate who refused to pitch because of a torn ucl. And his chronic... had two starts pushed back... back tightness never really happened. He was merely imitating Harlan W. Moore .

He is an ironmans ironman and has not slowed down one bit. In fact at age 39, in the midst of a pitching injury apocalypse, he is going harder then ever. The Brooklyn Robins enforce a strict 60 pitch limit for all their minor leaguers. Well, all but one. If you look real closely at the pitching page for the San Francisco Doves you will find a little easter egg. Tavio pitch limit is set to 250.

Nope, this is not a typo. Tavio is that damn durable. The limit has been set that way since he was acquired back in April. While he is yet to hit the elusive 250 pitch plateau. Tavio has hit 100 pitches 14 times, 110 pitches 12 times, 120 pitches 5 times, and 130 pitches twice. Topping out at 134 three starts ago.

So next time your Nancy boy pitcher goes down with a hang nail or a torn labrum. Just remember. Tavio would pitch right through it. I'd give up 12 runs. But he's pitch through it.
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Re: 2037.22 Mr. Indestructable

Post by usnspecialist » Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:54 pm

I shaking with laughter right now. My new front-runner for TN of the year. God bless tavio.
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Re: 2037.22 Mr. Indestructable

Post by bschr682 » Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:30 pm

:bow: :bow: :bow:
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Re: 2037.22 Mr. Indestructable

Post by 7teen » Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:40 am

Excellent work! Of course it took me 5 minutes to read the article as I was mesmerized by the car crash. I couldn't look away.
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