Enter the Missionaries
(Troubled Robin sacrificed and shipped down the yellow river towards salvation)
A door bell rings and Robins GM Alan Ehlers awakens. He waits for a second ring to make sure it is not a dream. “Who could this be?, he grumbled as he rolled out of bed dressed in pajama pants and a “Brooklyn Robin: 2035 Landis Winners” t-shirt. The GM had the shirts made up in last June. Confident that his team would win it all. He has since donated the shirts to kids in Somalia, but he managed to keep a few for himself.
With a third knock on the door, Ehlers opens it a crack to see two young looking men dressed in matching suit and ties, holding a black satchel in one hand and holding up a Huffy bicycle with the other.
“Sorry kids, it's not Halloween yet and I'm fresh out of candy”
He then slams the door in their face and starts to walk away. A forth knock is heard. Ehlers veers through the peephole and again stresses that he is not interested in whatever they are peddling. As he starts to walk away a second time, he pauses for a moment and then opens the door.
“Hey, aren't you guys Crash LaLoosh and Lucas McNeill from the Yellow Springs Nine?”
LaLoosh: Yes sir, we are also known as the good brothers. Disciples of our father Ron Collins from the House of Ronco Church. We are here today to cleanse the Brooklyn Robins of evil doers.
Ehlers: Yeah, I hear Ron likes to clean guys out on trades.
McNeill: We are in search of a tortured soul who can patrol centerfield and hit from the right side of the plate. One Michael McCrain.
Ehlers; Look, I know McCrain lumped a lot, but he's starting to bump back up again and is in our plans. Besides, I would hardly call him an evil doer. And what gives fellas? You are both perennial all stars. Maybe even future hall of famers. Why are you out here riding bicycles in this neighborhood?
LaLoosh. Our father has taught is that greed is the devil and loyalty is pure. We shall use our superior work ethic mixed with our greater intelligence to lead by example and bring home sinners so they can be born again. Preferably ones who can man centerfield and hit right handed.
Ehlers: Whoah, easy on the fairy dust guys. The league has rules against doing too much. Only one swig per off season. Like I said, McCrain and Herve Billy are both in our plans for next year. They both have options and both can play multiple positions. So thanks, but no thanks.
Ehlers closes the door and starts to turn away. He then pauses for a second before quickly opening the door back up. LaLoosh and McNeill are stil standing their, bikes in hand.
Ehlers: Now fellas, McCrain and Billy are off the table, but boy do I have a deal for you. How about Carlos Camacho? He's a 4 star former 1st round pick, makes peanuts, hits right handed, can play not only CF, but LF, RF and 2B as well. You talk about an evil doer. This is your guy.
McNeill: Hmm, he has some personality defects, but he will do. Our father will create some polls, write some scriptures and relentlessly preach the good word until young Camacho is free of his evil spirits. He will be pure of all sins in no time at all
Ehlers: I got news for you buddy. Ron could rewrite “War and Peace” and still not have enough PP to save this asshat. He is the devil I tell you. The DEVIL!!!
Ehlers slams the door, turns and chuckles to himself while counting the $5 million in cash he collected.
