Skid Marks Sideline Prospect
(Chu seeking help for his erratic behavior)
While the Brooklyn Robins have been making blockbuster trades left and right recently and are amidst of their first playoff push in quite some time, a peculiar headline graced the front pages of the BNN this week...
First take away here... who the hell is Kyung-chul Chu? I've been covering this team for nine seasons now and I don't recall that name. Did the BBN writer take Ron Collins suggestion of using text to speech to crank out new articles and simply sneezed while trying to say "young Coujoe"? But being the investigative reporter that I am.. low and behold Brooklyn does have a prospect named Kyung-chul Chu. Turns out he is a 17 year old catcher discovered in South Korea by the Robins super scout in June of 2034. If that name doesn't ring a bell, it shouldn't. While it seems as though every team in the BBA is pulling out dream scouting discoveries on a weekly basis, Brooklyn seems content on finding local fast food workers who claim they can play baseball. With 5/6/3/6/6 hitting potential, very sub par defense, and poor personality traits, it's unlikely Chu will make it past AA. So why the big fuss and mystery over his "personal issues".Chu Takes Leave to Attend to 'Personal Matters'
Saturday, August 11th, 2035
Brooklyn star Kyung-chul Chu will miss the next few games to tend to "personal issues". Chu refused to elaborate on what exactly the issues were, but added that they were "more important than baseball, that's for sure". Robins manager Tomás Valdéz commented that it "wouldn't be long, but we have to plan in the short-term to be without him".
As it turns out, Kyung-chul Chu is suffering from an embarrassing medical condition that the team is trying to cover up for obvious reasons. It all started a few weeks back. Chu, now 17, earned his US drivers license. He drove a bunch of his international complex teammates from housing to the ballpark in Apalachicola. He was so excited and wanted to show off to his teammates. So he stopped at a red light next to a convertible with a bunch of girls in it. He revved his engine 3 times and winked at the ladies. When the light turned green, he burned out, leaving skid marks all over the road. When the players got out of the car at the complex, they looked at Chu and renewed their laughter.
"ha ha.. check out skid marks!" said Bing-Zhang Kim as all the other players laughed.
Chu took this as a sign of admiration and smiled with pride. But as he went to the locker room to put on his uniform, he would truly get their cruel joke. The tire marks left on the road at the traffic light were not the only skid marks Kyung-chul Chu had left that day. There was a matching brown streak in the young fellows shorts. You see, with all the adrenaline running through Chu's body, he must have blew an o-ring as he put the pedal to the medal and ruptured his sphincter muscle. Now every time he squats down to receive a pitch, he sharts himself.
After many complaints by teammates and league umpires, Chu has agreed to see a doctor about his condition. It's not known yet if he can play through the condition or if surgery is needed. His condition has lead to a lot of resentment and hazing by his teammates. But several others have come to his defense on twitter. David Krappenshitz sent Chu a message saying "get well soon buddy. looking forward to you being my personal catcher someday." While Leta 'Dutch Oven' Koude posted "sucks to be the butt of the joke. I feel your pain".
