2035.14 The Candy Man

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2035.14 The Candy Man

Post by ae37jr » Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:13 pm

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The Candy Man
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(Equipment manager unpacks Ken Bates travel bag)

Professional baseball players are creatures of habit. They tend to do the same things at the same times every day. One of the biggest rituals baseball players have is the pre game meal. Some fill up on carbs to give them energy, some only eat chicken, some are on a strict diet of fruit with a cocktail of legal sports supplements. Then there is Ken "Hotpants" Bates. His food of choice is one unlike any other.

"He always has snacks in his locker"

Said Brooklyn pitching coach George Kent. "and not healthy ones either. I'm talking about 100% sugar laced candy. He is like a crack addict of the candy variety. I see him walking into the park chomping on a bag of Skittles, sucking on some Runts while suiting up, popping Jujubes in between pitches in the bullpen, and kicking back some swedish fish post game. I'm suprised he's got any teeth left."

Bates has always had a golden arm and a sweet tooth according childhood friend Jefferson Riles. "He'd always keep a stash in his backpack. While all the other kids were lined up for meatloaf in the cafeteria, Hotpants would be at the table eating some Hot Tamales. Even during senior cut day, All the other kids went to the beach and Kenny went to It'sugar and brought back a 6 foot Gummie Bear and some classic candies."

Despite his sugar addiction, Ken Bates stays in surprisingly good shape. He runs sprints in the outfield everyday, shags fly balls, and lift weights. But team trainer Henry Anderson feels his bad habits may in fact have a negative effect on his pitching performance.

"The kid has a bad case of the Yips. He gets all strung out on Pop Rocks before the game and goes out there trying to throw every ball 110 mph and pitch a complete game shutout in 3 minutes and 24 seconds. He needs to chill out. Most pitchers slowly stroll to the mound to start an inning. Ken, he does shuttle sprints between first and second until the catcher is ready. Then he throws about 25 warmup pitches during the short commercial break. That's a lot of wear and tear on the body. If you include warmup pitches, he probably logs 215 pitches a game. It's sure to lead to injury."

Never the less, Ken Bates will never change. Like his scouting report says, he always has snacks at his locker.
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Re: 2035.14 The Candy Man

Post by RonCo » Mon Aug 06, 2018 12:01 am

This one made me snickers.
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