Co-Jack Still Determined
(Corey Jackson relentless in the cage)
It's 2:37 pm in San Fransisco. Players and coaches are due to arrive at the ballpark any minute. Yet the PA system is blaring John Fogerty's greatest hit with hints of a cracking baseball bat in the background.
"Gimme 5 more... belt high inside corner".
Well, well, well. It's none other then Co-Jack. Corey Jackson. In his continued quest to become the BBA's first ever two way player. In this latest episode, Corey has been outrighted to the San Fransisco Doves, Brooklyn's AAA affiliate. Co-Jack has started two games and is currently listed as the teams setup man. When he is not pitching, Corey bats 3rd and acts as a designated hitter.
"C'mon Co-Jack. You've been trying to pull everything. Let's work on going the other way." said the batting practice pitcher.
"No way man. Chicks dig the long ball. Besides, everyone knows the Robins have plenty of slap and slash hitters. To create my niche on this team I need to work on my long game. Valentin and Guzman are both free agents after the season. I plan on being the full time DH and protecting Nightmare and Balderes in the lineup."
"You do know the team drafted José Zúñiga for that very reason."
"You mean El Guapo? I mean... he's seems decent and all, but have you seen those splits? He'll surely need a platoon partner. And Brooklyn platoons everyone whether they need to or not"
Jackson continues to take hacks. Playing pepper with the left field warning track. The rest of the team hits the field and starts stretching.
"Co-Jack, put the bat down and head on out for a bullpen." yelled manager Ron Voss
"Not now chief, I'm in the zone."
"C'mon Jackson. You've been down here for over a month. You need to put down the bat and work on you're delivery. You've been a solid, yet unspectacular reliever for the past 4 seasons. This year.. you're tipping off your pitches and getting lit up on a nightly basis. And the worst part.... you don' even care! You just come out here at 11am every day and take batting practice until we kick you out of the cage. The whole two way player thing was a scam. We only did it to protect you in the expansion draft. But we already got caught, penalized, and told countless jokes about it. The bit is old and played out. Nobody cares anymore. Heck, the hot potato that was all sour creamed up about the situation isn't even in the league anymore. He got off to a bad starch and then left all of a spuddin."
"If I were the Spuds, I'd be boiling too. That park... it's a dream for right handed power bats like myself. I'd hit 40 HR there."
"Co-Jack, you are not a power hitter, you are meddling middle reliever with an identity crisis."
"I disagree skip. Check out the analytics. I've hit 3 HR in my first 54 AAA at bats. 2 in one game I might add. Stretch that out over 162 games and that's 35 HR. Not to mention the one I hit off of BBA pitching in spring training. If this were a Markus Heinsohn video game... my power would be about to bump... as the kids call it." Jackson turns to the camera and winks, breaking the 4th wall.
"Bleh. Short sample. And if you want to get into it. Let's talk about that .295 OBP. That won't get you into the BBA anytime soon."
"Oh contraire mon frere. Brooklyn could give a crap about OBP, my .295 would rank over Camacho, Belcham, Alatas, E. Jackson, MacCrain, Wade, and Gustufsen. In the scope of Robin baseball, I'm an OBP God. Maybe that's why they have sucked so bad the past 7 years."
"I'm going to tell you one more time Wack-o Jack-o. You are not going to get a call up. This whole thing was a joke and gets worse and worse as we go. In the beginning, yeah, we were serious about letting you get some AB's in real games. But two things happened to changed that. Number one. We didn't realize that Havana/San Fernando had switched leagues and we would not get a chance to face Leon Ramirez, the one BBA pitcher you might have success against and two. Nobody knew Brooklyn would actually be halfway decent."
"You know what skip? I hope you choke on that Hateraide. I'm going to make it. I WILL become the first ever two way player in the BBA. I WILL be the first player in BBA history with a win, a save and HR all in the same season. And it WILL be this season.
Co-Jack throws down his bat and storms off the field, kicking his mit aside as he walked down the dugout steps.
