2057 - Joe "Sloth" Melucci - A Year Removed From Baseball, Sloth Returns

[R.Umali]

Special to The Besuboru Journal (04/29/2057)

You might remember Sloth. You might remember his lumberjack-like swings and misses, or his iconic and controversial "worm crawl" home run trot in the 2050 LMS when he played for Atlantic City. Here in Japan, you'll surely remember him for the in-team rivalry he and fellow American Dave Ackerman had with Kazunari Chikafujiand Tadataka Yoshikawa.

Joe "Sloth" Melucci won two championships playing for the Charm City Jimmies in 2054 and 2055. That 2055 Jimmies team was a juggernaut, winning 120 games in the regular season and featuring three true sluggers, the aforementioned Kazunari "Chick-Fil-A" Chikafuji (47 HR), Dave Ackerman (45), and Tadataka Yoshikawa (42). In the midst of all that power, Melucci was deemed expendable and was traded to New Orleans in the beginning of August.

Melucci proceeded to go on a massive tear with the Crawdads. He clobbered 11 home runs for the rebuilding squad in just over 30 games. At season's end, Melucci became a free agent. He was 31 years old. But when the curtain was parted at the beginning of 2056, Melucci was not even on the bench. He was nowhere to be seen or found.

So when I spied him practicing J'Kulo in Shinjuku, Mount Hakone in the distance, Melucci seemed a mirage.

But I'm pleased to report that Melucci is indeed solid, is indeed the "best shape of his life", and is indeed ready to make his GBC debut DH-ing for the Tokyo Pearls.

[This interview was conducted before Melucci's first game with the Pearls. This transcript is edited for clarity.]

Q: When you were playing with the Gamblers, you once said that "time moves slowly" for you and that's why you are called Sloth.

I remember that. People were on me for never legging out grounders or infield hits, or being last to board the bus, or being the last to finish meals. But yeah, I like to think I experience time in a different way.

Q: Is it safe to say that your year off, your sabbatical from baseball, wasn't planned?

Certainly getting traded away from the Jimmies wasn't planned. At least, not in my plan. I wouldn't characterize my year off as a sabbatical. At least, it didn't start that way. A sabbatical is paid time off when you get to work on your craft. I definitely wasn't paid, and I didn't work on my craft.

Q: It did look like you were primed to sign with another team, certainly after your resurgent performance (11 HR in 104 AB) with the Crawdads.

Yeah but I was playing with a kind of F-you "I'll show you" mindset. That can only take you so far. I got results but it's not healthy or sustainable. It takes too much energy.

Q: Surprised that you didn't catch on with another team?

For sure. I thought I'd have a contract once the season ended. But I wasn't tendered. I remember my agent and I at the beginning were just waiting to be approached. Then she had to start making calls. And then you hear "no, thanks" or "we're going in a different direction" or not response at all. You start thinking: "I should've been more of a leader. I should've had a higher work ethic. Displayed more loyalty."

Q: You disappeared soon after the season ended. I would characterize New Bayou as not unlike Kabukichō. What little rumors about your whereabouts and activities were outrageous. Can you tell us what happened after 2055?

Look, after that season, I was unbalanced. I had been on the biggest party bus in baseball just cruising to another championship. And then you get kicked off the bus one stop before the destination. I was in a red haze playing for the Crawdads. And then afterwards, yeah I spent a lot of time in New Bayou. It's wild. it's unincorporated for a reason. But it was there that I got into J'Kulo. And that helped me get my head on straight. To find balance and to be able to focus will, or at least begin to.

Q: There's quite a few J'Kulo Circles here.

Oh, I know.

[He flashes me a badge from one of the more famous Circles.]

Q: Why the return now?

[At this, Melucci taps the massive championship ring he's wearing.]

I received this baby a month ago. Even though I was traded from the team, I was still considered part of the championship. The guys I know got their rings last year but it took a long time for me to get mine because I did not have a permanent address. I was in New Bayou. And when I got back to New England I just shacked up at a friend's maple tree farm across the border in Vermont. I did not have a permanent address in over 14 months.

A month ago, this package appears on the porch.

And, you know, the ring comes with a ton of features. Connectivity and all that. This one came loaded with a VLC of the entire season, personalized for me. If you have a compatible wearable and Vision, you can pretty much relive the entire season. At that point, I was at peace with what happened. All the bitterness was gone, all the "woe is me is gone." I left that in New Bayou.

And I'm just like everybody else, Vision's fun! So I relived every at bat of that season. Every curtain call. Every swing and miss even. And I was reminded of the essential battle between batter and pitcher.

There are these exercises in J'Kulo designed to sharpen focus, and it reminded me of some routines and preparations some of the best hitters in baseball go through. And I began to see baseball in a different way. It's not like J'Kulo because, well, there's a bat and a ball. But I've found that I can express my will - the core of J'Kulo - through baseball.

Q: Why the Pearls? I cannot be for the money. When Shinbum broke the story the headline was "Sloth signs for $700,000!" Your last contract was for $7 million.

Money's nice. But yeah, I should not admit this but I would've signed for less but my agent - she needs to eat, too. I can't deny that J'Kulo is part of it. Tokyo has some amazing forward-thinking Circles you just can't find in New England. The people are another part. The city. I spent some time with Chick-Fill-A here a few years back. But yeah, the money is low relatively speaking that I must be doing it for something else.

Q: What is it then? If you are looking for a championship, I don't need to remind you that the Pearls are currently in last place.

It is out of respect for my life that I continue to do the thing that I'm good at doing. This allows me to more fully express and realize my Self to the world. That I, what do the old masters say? Forever widen my circles.

[Melucci went 2-for-5 in his first baseball game in over 16 months. Then he hit 2 home runs in the next one, leading the Pearls to a 15-9 victory over the first place Buenos Aires Brisas.]

[Jwalk100]

Comeback Player of the Year

[Dington]

Caleca nominee. Great work.

[BaseClogger]

That's pretty crazy he signed a $700K deal with you.

[R.Umali]

That's pretty crazy he signed a $700K deal with you.

I know! Fan interest increased significantly. And I couldn't believe it. Meanwhile, other older ex-BBA free agents want millions if they even deign to talk to a GBC team. Eduardo Garcia, for instance, wants $11m!

[RT60]

I regret not being aware of Sloth. Loved reading this.

[DaveB]

I loved Sloth when he was in Charm City. I traded him because I was looking for more balance with RH stick Yokoyama came back.

I tried signing him last offseason, but he didn’t want to budge off a 5 million contract.