“We have the commissioner on tape admitting to ties with both Subaru and a restaurant that might or might not be Denny’s,” said an independent investigator from a major social media source. “We intend to bring this to the proper authorities unless the league can confirm a deposit to the account that we’ve sent to their office. I’m sure someone will react soon, otherwise the world is going to find how far down the hole this Grand Slam goes.”
It should be noted that Subaru and Denny’s are major corporate sponsors of the franchise in Phoenix, and have been causing quite a stir in recent months regarding the team’s lackadaisical approach to the contracts their front office signed.
The news included the release of a photo that appears to show Rectenwald in preparation for a secret meeting with the Phoenix front office.
“Their ties go way back,” the source says. “We’ve got that on video, too. There’s no way to squirm out of this one.”
The news spread quickly, and it was noted that after being predicted to finish no better than 5th or 6th in the Frontier division, the Talons are now fighting for a Wild Card entry into the playoffs, and with a newly revised report coming from the commissioner’s office, are said to have as much as a 20% chance of succeeding. This is much higher than earlier estimates, and fuel supposition that the ties between him and the Phoenix GM have led him to take extra efforts to funnel cash through the turnstiles of Denny's Paul D. Lunn Memorial Stadium Presented by Subaru by incorrectly bloating expectations. (No, we don’t’ want to get sued).
“It’s not hard to see why,” the source said. “Several BBA fans in the Greater Phoenix area have taken to enjoying quick mini-vacations to the Bikini Atoll, where they can watch a game and not get baked in the 135 degree heat of the concrete desert we all know and love as Phoenix. The Commish doesn’t want that to happen.”
Further updates will be provided as the news cycle progresses.
