10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
- RonCo
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10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
1) Yrrigs Carpenter will remember he’s a pitcher. What the hell happened to this guy, or—as an Outlaw executive once said in a boozy stupor, “does this mean we’ll get a team discount at the arby table?” Regardless, the Mad Carpenter goes to a seance specialist and reconnects with the ghost of his last two seasons, then goes out and throws three straight shutouts.
2) It’s Ricardo Rivera time. Is he up too early? You tell me: the 19 year-old’s got two starts and a 1.50 ERA. Combined with Carpenter's shenanigans, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Rivera throws a pair of no-nos, leads the team to the promised land, then spends the off-season making more money on the speachifying circuit than he did on the field this year. His time, he'll decide, is coming.
3) Opponents will overlook them – the next three outlaw series are with contenders focused on other games, so the Outlaws will slip into towns with little fanfare and simply win. This is the way it always works, right? As someone said, you're never prepared for a surprise attack, or, is it when you want to hide something leave it in plain sight? Something like that.
4) Extra base hits: San Antonio leads the league in them, and last we checked extra bases are very good for scoring runs.
5) Angel De Castillo will carry them – the Free Agent bonus baby of a couple years back is having another solid 3 WAR year, but for three week’s time he’ll erupt and do it all, thereby silencing critics. He'll go on to rake again in 2040, then chose to opt out of $23M for the last year of his contract to sign with a UMEBA team for a net worth of approximately three franchises.
6) The River Walk: It’s having a down year, and all the retailers and restaurants that comprise it will take up a collection to bribe umpires to swing a few more games. Everyone will decide this is fine because baseball fans like the River Walk even though all the water dried up in 2035. Economic recovery will be achieved, and no charges will be pressed.
7) 3.1M can’t be wrong. The Outlaws have drawn more fans this year than any time since 2034. The club will ride a wave of the psychic energy of all these Texans into the Geoghegan Round. Either that or the players know that 3.1M Texans will lasso and hogtie them if they lose, which really is the same thing, right? Fans are fans. Everywhere.
8) Phoenix will be coasting – the Outlaws get the division leaders in the last series of the season and, with a huge lead in hand, Sean Marko will have all his Talons wearing bubble wrap to keep them safe. I don't think it will work, though, because the OOTP gods will reach through the ether and find another cruel and unusual way (that's at least fun for the rest of us) to break a key Talon. Or two. Whatever it takes, right? Regardless, San Antonio takes advantage of the coasting front-runner to steal three critical games.
9) Three syllables: Mun-wah Duan. Or is that four syllables? I’m not really up to date on my Chinese, but it doesn’t take a linguist to enjoy the mega-numbers the kid is putting up after a fresh call-up. I mean, the guy's raking, and that's enough to give any Outlaw fan a sense of the possible. The good news, and bad, is that Duan won’t wake up and fall apart until October. (Sorry, Mike)
10) We’ve got to be right sometime, right? Last year we said Valencia would win the Pacific, and that was wrong. Regression to mean, baby. Regression to mean.
2) It’s Ricardo Rivera time. Is he up too early? You tell me: the 19 year-old’s got two starts and a 1.50 ERA. Combined with Carpenter's shenanigans, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Rivera throws a pair of no-nos, leads the team to the promised land, then spends the off-season making more money on the speachifying circuit than he did on the field this year. His time, he'll decide, is coming.
3) Opponents will overlook them – the next three outlaw series are with contenders focused on other games, so the Outlaws will slip into towns with little fanfare and simply win. This is the way it always works, right? As someone said, you're never prepared for a surprise attack, or, is it when you want to hide something leave it in plain sight? Something like that.
4) Extra base hits: San Antonio leads the league in them, and last we checked extra bases are very good for scoring runs.
5) Angel De Castillo will carry them – the Free Agent bonus baby of a couple years back is having another solid 3 WAR year, but for three week’s time he’ll erupt and do it all, thereby silencing critics. He'll go on to rake again in 2040, then chose to opt out of $23M for the last year of his contract to sign with a UMEBA team for a net worth of approximately three franchises.
6) The River Walk: It’s having a down year, and all the retailers and restaurants that comprise it will take up a collection to bribe umpires to swing a few more games. Everyone will decide this is fine because baseball fans like the River Walk even though all the water dried up in 2035. Economic recovery will be achieved, and no charges will be pressed.
7) 3.1M can’t be wrong. The Outlaws have drawn more fans this year than any time since 2034. The club will ride a wave of the psychic energy of all these Texans into the Geoghegan Round. Either that or the players know that 3.1M Texans will lasso and hogtie them if they lose, which really is the same thing, right? Fans are fans. Everywhere.
8) Phoenix will be coasting – the Outlaws get the division leaders in the last series of the season and, with a huge lead in hand, Sean Marko will have all his Talons wearing bubble wrap to keep them safe. I don't think it will work, though, because the OOTP gods will reach through the ether and find another cruel and unusual way (that's at least fun for the rest of us) to break a key Talon. Or two. Whatever it takes, right? Regardless, San Antonio takes advantage of the coasting front-runner to steal three critical games.
9) Three syllables: Mun-wah Duan. Or is that four syllables? I’m not really up to date on my Chinese, but it doesn’t take a linguist to enjoy the mega-numbers the kid is putting up after a fresh call-up. I mean, the guy's raking, and that's enough to give any Outlaw fan a sense of the possible. The good news, and bad, is that Duan won’t wake up and fall apart until October. (Sorry, Mike)
10) We’ve got to be right sometime, right? Last year we said Valencia would win the Pacific, and that was wrong. Regression to mean, baby. Regression to mean.
- RonCo
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Re: 10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
Bumped for links...sorry about that.
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Re: 10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
Curious if my series with these guys will determine if one of us makes the playoffs. I can't wait for our bats to pound away on Yriggs and Ricardo.
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Re: 10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
Thanks Ron, I have been inundated with work lately.
Mike Calvaruso
San Antonio Outlaws 2030 -
Birmingham Bandits 2006-2029
San Antonio Outlaws 2030 -
Birmingham Bandits 2006-2029
- RonCo
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Re: 10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
probably
Mike Calvaruso
San Antonio Outlaws 2030 -
Birmingham Bandits 2006-2029
San Antonio Outlaws 2030 -
Birmingham Bandits 2006-2029
- jiminyhopkins
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Re: 10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
Yesss, Yesssss, keep speaking it. Maybe if we speak it enough times, it actually won't happen...
GM, 2051 and 2053 JL 4TH WILDCARD Phoenix Talons (2029-??), BBA
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- RonCo
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Re: 10 Reasons Why the San Antonio Outlaws will make the playoffs
I don't think that will help, but if it let's you sleep better I suppose that's good.jiminyhopkins wrote: ↑Wed Aug 21, 2019 6:53 pmYesss, Yesssss, keep speaking it. Maybe if we speak it enough times, it actually won't happen...
There's a reason spouses and beneficiaries always check to see if a player's insurance is paid up after they sign with Phoenix.
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