ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

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ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by RonCo » Tue Jul 09, 2019 4:47 pm

Quantum physicists have been debating the subject for about as long as the idea of singularities, black holes, and quantum mechanics have been around. Do alternate dimensions exist? Some suggested that there were six dimensions, then string theorists fell upon ten as their favorite guess. Others said 21, all for mathematical reasons so complex that if you could explain them to me, I’d have to kill you. Science fiction fans have long enjoyed the whole multi-verse concept of infinite universes, going so far as to say that every decision point one comes long breaks reality into two separate threads, and the we each live millions upon millions of lives(though, it’s fairly clear that in none of those worlds do the Nine ever win a Landis).

The debate has run and run and run.

But now the BBA has proven once and for all that alternate worlds do exist, for nothing else can possibly explain the weird, wonderful, mixed-up world of the Brewster Baseball Association that is the 2039 season. What else can explain the fact that 30 games into the season—20% of the way—a not totally miniscule sample size (though admittedly still enough for random shenanigans to arise) we see the division standing reading Brooklyn, New Orleans, and Phoenix in the Johnson League, and Seattle, San Fernando, and Des Moines in the Frick. Yes, I said Des Moines. And yes, dare I note, I said Brooklyn.

The fact that Phoenix is atop the Sun Belt isn’t wholy off, but coming second is Wichita, which no one not names Hopkins would have seen. Jacksonville and Rockville are getting back into the hunt, but they had a black ice skid to start the season, and the fact is that clubs like Louisville and Huntsville have had the Southeastern division’s number most of the year.

And, yeah, Seattle isn’t a shock, but Boise is sitting in second, Calgary third, and Landis champ Edmonton is reeling away the season back in fourth place at 12-20. Seriously? San Fernando at the top of the Pacific isn’t eye-popping, but the fact that they are only there by percentage points over the much more lowly regarded Hawaii Tropics, is. Still, you could say the Frick wasn’t enough to prove this alternate world theory if it wasn’t for the upstart Des Moines Kernels, who stand a game a half up over a suddenly floundering Twin Cities club, and two up over the rudderless Yellow Springs franchise.

Montreal and Twin Cities have had the ying and yang of starts, the Blazers starting 0-14 start, then playing 9-9 .500 ball, the River Monsters starting 13-7, then going 2-10. Las Vegas is dead last in the Sunbelt. Long Beach in the Pacific.


TOP SCIENTISTS AGREE TO MEET

It’s all enough that the top scientists around the world have all agreed to hold an open conference during the BBA all-star game, even going so far as to invite a contingency of amateur physics aficionados from the USA (“they have to get a restart from somewhere,” one leading mind said anonymously). The goal of this conference will be to examine the idea of randomness and pure Stranger Thingery going on around the league.

“It’s clear there’s an upside down now, and it’s highly likely we’re flat-out in it,” that same scientist said. “The only question is whether there’s a way back into the world we call “reality.”

Fans in Brooklyn and Des Moines, however, are rumored to have created a grass roots group that is focused on preventing this meeting, going so far as to book all the hotel rooms in a 100-mile radius to the event. Others have been hiring hackers and bribing travel agents to divert travel schedules and generally seed confusion.

“Don’t wake me up or I’ll have to punch you in the face,” the sign of a Kernel fan read.
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Re: ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by ae37jr » Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:14 pm

Brooklyn VS Des Moines in the Landis... Let's do this!
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Re: ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by Edward Murphy » Wed Jul 10, 2019 6:02 am

playing .500 ball, leading the division, green sky and blue grass, I love this alternate world.
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Re: ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by allenciox » Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:38 am

Oh, my, this is absolutely hilarious! More, more, I am still not satisfied! ;-)

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Re: ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by nerfHerder » Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:23 am

We're built to last too. Shoot, I spelled "for" wrong.
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Re: ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by crobillard » Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:40 am

Lmao this is fantastic

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Re: ALTERNATE WORLDS PROVEN TO EXIST

Post by recte44 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:02 pm

2039 season is totes bonkers

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