2038 BBA All-Craptastic Team

[recte44]

With Awards season here, the league is focused on debating the merits of the best players in the league. This writer thought it might be fun to look into the strange world of the complete opposite, the absolute worst players in the league.

Without any further ado, I present to you the 2038 BBA All-Craptastic Team!!!
*Batters min 300 PA

Catcher: Andres Martinez (PHX/LV)
.168 AVG, .271 OBP .570 OPS in 98 games, -0.31 WAR
As bad as he was with Phoenix he still caught the eye of Vegas who figured he couldn't possibly be THAT bad. Well, he was worse (.500 OPS with Las Vegas). Ouch.

First Base: Chester Larkin (VAN)
.244 AVG, .287 OBP, .681 OPS in 157 games, -1.4 WAR
With four straight good seasons at AAA and a semi-promising debut in 2037 the Mounties figured why not give Larkin a shot? He got his shot and the verdict is in. He sucks.

Second Base: Alex Ramirez (NO)
.205 AVG, .247 OBP, .513 OPS in 100 games, -1.78 WAR
Remember when Gobbler was good? He was even useful as recently as last year, but now he's just a turkey. Apologies to the nearly equally horrendous Alfredo Bermudez who is also near the pinnacle of suckitude.

Third Base: Don Draper (DM)
.225 AVG, .296 OBP, .635 OPS in 112 games, -0.41 WAR
$51 million dollars wasted. I'm sure that Ed Murphy and his front office cohorts are truly Mad Men when they reflect on this deal.

Shortstop: Rubem Bordonhos (SEA)
.205 AVG, .272 OBP, .606 OPS in 85 games, -1.23 WAR
It takes a truly bad player to be worth MORE than a loss in just 85 games. Two years ago then 19-year old Rubem looked like a big part of the Storm future. He still does, but it might be as a beer vendor.

Left Field: Herve Billy (BOI)
.206 AVG, .249 OBP, .523 OPS in 102 games, -1.33 WAR
Ok, I'll admit it. I'm the one responsible for bringing Billy to the big city of Boise when I was caretaking the Spuds a couple years ago. And man, does he suck. The sheer horror of his lack of bat is apparent when you see he's still such a plus fielder and his negative WAR is solely from his awful offense.

Center Field: Thierry Mignot (LOU)
.248 AVG, .280 OBP, .611 OPS in 101 games, -1.22 WAR
If Mignot was a steak, he'd be a mig-NOT. That joke is still not as bad as Mignot's sorry ass performance. I will tip my cap to his strong Belgian mustache game, though.

Right Field: Paul Warren (HNT/NO)
.241 AVG, .285 OBP, .641 OPS in 94 games, -0.79 WAR
Huntsville probably thought they were getting a "Gold Mine" in Warren but despite him playing six different positions this year he was, in fact, fools gold. One expensive turd.

Starting Pitcher: Robert Hobbs (HAW)
32 G, 32 GS, 5-15, 153.2 IP, 6.74 ERA, -0.99 WAR
God awful. The most impressive part of Hobbs season is that he rang the bell for 32 starts of pure garbage.

Relief Pitcher: Drees Geestman (MTL)
32 G, 2 GS, 6.88 ERA, -1.16 WAR, 38 BB in 57.2 IP
He had a bad case of the Drees Gees.

[RonCo]

That's some deep stuff

[jleddy]

Inject this content directly into my veins.

Without risking charges of tampering, the Balauri would welcome these gentleman into the UMEBA with their BBA experience. I'd imagine a "Rubem Bordonhos Bobblehead Night" would bring in at least a dozen or so more fans to the park.

[RonCo]

One man's trash...

[Ted]

Draper Babip'd 70 points below his career mark (.256 to .328). Last year he was .339. His walk rate is relatively unchanged from his career mark, 8.4 vs 8.3.

He did strike out an alarming 18% of the time last year, up from 2037 by 4 percent and up from his career mark by 5%.

The other concerning issue is that the game was calling him a 55 in January and now calls him a 40. So despite no change in his visible ratings, he may have slide from the top end of the range of those numbers to the bottom end.

Still, I doubt he slid 70 points of BABIP. As CON is made of of BABIP and AVK, for all of this decline to be real (he lost 70 babip points and struck out 4% more), you'd expect his CON rating to have dropped. It's probably lower, but I'd expect a bounce back next season if we don't see any visible ratings decline.

[ae37jr]

Damn, my players aren't even good enough for that all crappy team. I see some familiar faces though.

[sjshaw]

I have fired all the scouts who cited Mignot's mustache game as a reason to keep him around. We need a new approach. I'm thinking chest hair instead of facial hair?

[Rubaboo]

Thought my boy Ricardo Pena would've made this list for sure...

[jleddy]

I have fired all the scouts who cited Mignot's mustache game as a reason to keep him around. We need a new approach. I'm thinking chest hair instead of facial hair?

To be fair, it seems the Sluggers logo has set a precedent.

Bucharest is juggling around the idea of enforcing a new No Facial Hair policy, pending a sponsorship with the Romanian Razor Co.

[JimBob2232]

Yup. Sounds right...although Warren should probably be on NO.

[ae37jr]

Warren is an odd player. You look at him an go, wow he is a great defender all over. Then you take a deeper look and your like... Meh, I really would only want to play him at 1B or cof. And his bat can't hang there. But for that split second you think you found something nobody else has seen.

[JimBob2232]

Warren is an odd player. You look at him an go, wow he is a great defender all over. Then you take a deeper look and your like... Meh, I really would only want to play him at 1B or cof. And his bat can't hang there. But for that split second you think you found something nobody else has seen.

Yup. and for a team desparate for defense...i was hoping for more.

[sjshaw]

To be fair, it seems the Sluggers logo has set a precedent.

Very true. I think a rebranding is in order. Maybe this guy

[jleddy]

Do that and watch your club's interest in Germany spike.

[sjshaw]

I like the way you think. They're always a job in the LOU marketing department for you if the whole "owning a team" thing doesn't work out.

[RonCo]

Who would want to work for Loserville?

[sjshaw]

Who would want to work for Loserville?

People that like beating Yellow Springs

(starting next year)

[RonCo]

That's Des Moines.

[StormZ_23]

Surprised only one Mountie is on this list

[bschr682]

Inject this content directly into my veins.

Without risking charges of tampering, the Balauri would welcome these gentleman into the UMEBA with their BBA experience

as would the hammers