INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Beat articles, power rankings, statistical analysis, etc. goes here.
Post Reply
User avatar
RonCo
League Director
Posts: 8067
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:48 pm
Has thanked: 30 times
Been thanked: 13 times

INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Post by RonCo » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:02 am

Rival GM’s To Be Questioned


The 2036 BBA season appears to be on a pace to be as controversial as any to date, and that’s saying a lot. Today, BBA investigators have released information regarding their efforts to uncover fact related to the latest controversy—centered around the disappearance of High-Volume Poster, and Yellow Springs GM Ron “The Human PPT Machine” Collins, and Des Moines GM Edward “Steady Eddie” Murphy, both of whom have been notably absent in BBA circles in recent weeks.

“There is clear evidence that the highly-respected GM and Ron Collins have been caught in a muilti-dimensional vortex and swept to an alternate reality where the BBA does not exist,” the report reads. The report includes testimony given from team followers who say they saw Collins and Murphy chatting during a recent series. It also includes the following photograph of the two standing in a ballpark that is clearly not of this world.

ed_ron_600.jpg

“I thought they were talking about a trade,” said Esther Mayberry. “So I wanted to listen in so I could see how Murphy was going to rake Collins over the coals again. Then there was this bright flash like a hundred old-time camera flash bulb. By the time my eyeballs stopped strobing, they were gone.”

Some fans weren’t convinced.

“Collins has disappeared before,” said one Yellow Springs fan. “We’re used to it.”

“Good riddance,” said another. “Have you seen the team this year? I’d hide away, too, if it were me.”

In Des Moines, fans were a little less harsh. “You mean Murphy’s gone? I hadn’t noticed,” said True Fan Elenor as she cheered her boys onto another defeat.

RIVALS QUESTIONED?

Per-season pundits suggested that Yellow Springs would be the clear winner of the Heartland division, with some suggesting Des Moines was a dark horse playoff contender. In the meantime, however, Omaha and Twin Cities continue to hold strong positions in the division. Investigators said they would be questioning GMs Justin Niles (Omaha) and Scott Piccolli (Twin Cities) shortly, but that they wouldn’t rule out several other people of interest, including Madison GM Chris Wilson and Wichita GM Genius Hopkins.

“We never rule Hopkins out,” said a member of the Investigating committee. “That’s just how he rolls.”

Others have suggested California beat writer Offie whats-his-name (Offen Sichtlich der Kunstgriff) would be asked to provide commentary, and that his girlfriend is officially not a suspect at present—though someone did suggests she might have offed Collins and Murphy in order to limit competition so the otherwise pathetic Pacific division might become dominant.

COMMISSIONER REQUIRES INVESTIGATION TO COMPLETE “IN A WEEK OR LESS”


The one thing we can all be sure of is that the truth will be declared within a week, as commissioner Matt Rectenwald has dictated the end of the next sim as the deadline for investigators to create the facts needed to solve this case. “If it’s a Quantum Leap kind of thing, that’s fine with me. They can talk to whoever they want to prove that. Just get it done in a week so we can move on.”
Yellow Springs Nine
Playoff Regular, Landis Averse

User avatar
Spiccoli
General Manager
Posts: 692
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:24 pm
Has thanked: 14 times
Been thanked: 7 times

Re: INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Post by Spiccoli » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:35 am

lol.... Uh oh... someone broke out of their straight jacket.

User avatar
RonCo
League Director
Posts: 8067
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:48 pm
Has thanked: 30 times
Been thanked: 13 times

Re: INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Post by RonCo » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:49 am

It had to happen sooner or later.
Yellow Springs Nine
Playoff Regular, Landis Averse

User avatar
jiminyhopkins
General Manager
Posts: 1668
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:33 pm
Location: OH
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 6 times

Re: INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Post by jiminyhopkins » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:51 am

Who are these people
Current GM, Phoenix Talons (2029-??), BBA
FORMER GM, Munchen Brauers (2024-28), EBA
FORMER GM, Washington Bobwhites (1999-2010), MBBA
Owner, Phoenix/Traverse City Talons (1995-2036), Global Baseball Consortium

User avatar
RonCo
League Director
Posts: 8067
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:48 pm
Has thanked: 30 times
Been thanked: 13 times

Re: INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Post by RonCo » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:53 pm

jiminyhopkins wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:51 am
Who are these people
Des Moines fan?
Yellow Springs Nine
Playoff Regular, Landis Averse

User avatar
jiminyhopkins
General Manager
Posts: 1668
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:33 pm
Location: OH
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 6 times

Re: INVESTIGATORS LOOK INTO HEARTLAND GM DISAPPEARANCES

Post by jiminyhopkins » Thu Oct 04, 2018 8:58 pm

RonCo wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:53 pm
jiminyhopkins wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:51 am
Who are these people
Des Moines fan?
Definitely more exciting than being a Phoenix fan. :(
Current GM, Phoenix Talons (2029-??), BBA
FORMER GM, Munchen Brauers (2024-28), EBA
FORMER GM, Washington Bobwhites (1999-2010), MBBA
Owner, Phoenix/Traverse City Talons (1995-2036), Global Baseball Consortium

Post Reply

Return to “League Features”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest