The Brewster

After an abysmal 13-16 start, this Cairo Pharaohs team looks like a shell of itself from last year. Cornerstone reliever Gary Powers and the top of the rotation man Bani Marita are below replacement level. Third baseman Guang Lee is playing like hot garbage. This team right now is composed of Blair Peyton, Boulus bin Altair, and twenty five NPCs just there to take up space. "I am not having fun right now!" says one anonymous player on the Pharaohs. "Even with two rings, this slow start is humiliating! We are a much better team than this!" The pitching for Cairo this year has been dead last in team WAR, so it is easy to place the blame on the pitching. The starters rank 8th in team ERA across the GBC, can they bounce back in May to overcome this travesty of a start? Only time will tell as either more guys will be thrown under the bus or more players' games will start to be respected.

BREAKING: The anonymous player speaking out about Cairo was found out to be DH Bannon McThomas. He has since been immediately demoted to AAA Pretoria. Talk about humiliating!

Blair Peyton reportedly told local media he’s so “fed up with Cairo’s lackluster baseball that I’d rather play for a real organization, like Sydney.”

Wow!