Papyrus 2059.08 : Sphinx's Lair unveiled (excelling players)

[JRamirez]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Cairo, Egypt – [Happy New Year 2059]

Cairo Pharaohs Unveil "The Sphinx’s Lair" Training Facility Amidst Stadium Expansion

The Cairo Pharaohs announce the opening of state-of-the-art team development lab, "The Sphinx’s Lair," nestled within expanded Pharaoh Park. As we prepare to welcome an additional 10,000 fans, boosting our capacity to 35,700 for the 2059 season, The Sphinx’s Lair is already churning out upgrades.

Bench Coach James 'Slap' Monger boasted, "The Lair is where baseball magic happens. Much more than a "Field of Dreams", it's, it’s … a crucible for forging the finest Pharaohs. And, grab an anvil, the heat is on!"

Rising Stars of The Sphinx’s Lair (Excelling Players)

Kamal bin Isa, the 21-year-old rookie Pharaoh-to-be, has been turning heads with his gap power. "I used to hit 'em where they were," says Kamal, "Now, I hit 'em where they--well, I'm sure you know the quote. It's as if the baseball whispers, "Kamal, this way!" And boom—double in the gap!.

The team hopes to take advantage of the ballpark’s high doubles and triples ratings.

Boulder bin Altair, who has high work ethic, is excelling at contact quality. "I thought good contact was just about not dropping calls. But here? It’s about making that bat sing. And brah, does it hit the high notes! ‘Can you hear me now?’"

Bani Marita, the expected team ace, is excelling at improving his control. Bani, an iron man starter, notes, "They said a thirty-one-year old was too old to hone his skills. But control isn’t just about the game; it’s about life. The Lair is my zen garden. Every throw is a petal in the wind, every strike, a ripple in a pond. The Sphinx is where I found my pitching mojo.” In the Lair, I’m not just throwing; I’m painting corners."

Interview Snippet with Coach James "Slap" Monger

Reporter: Coach Monger, thank you for joining us... The Sphinx’s Lair—what a name for the training facility! How did the team come up with it?

CM: We wanted something that screamed "Egyptian mystique." And what’s more mysterious than a sphinx? Plus, "The Lair" sounds like a secret society of mummies plotting their comeback. Trust me, they’re all in there: Cleopatra, Hatshepsut, Seqenenre II, doing squats and practicing their sarcophagus lifts.

R: Bani Marita, Kamal bin Isa, and Boulder bin Altair—three players excelling at The Sphinx’s Lair. What’s their secret?

CM: Pyramid Power! Bani’s control is tighter than a mummy’s bandages. Kamal’s gap power? He’s hitting gaps like he’s exploring secret chambers. And Boulder? His quality of contact? Let’s just say he’s turning baseballs into ancient artifacts.

R: [trying not to cringe visibly]: Coach, thank you for the insight. Any parting words?

CM: To all the fans out there, come witness history at Pharaoh Park. Bring your sunscreen—our sun is older than Tutankhamun’s sandals. And remember, baseball isn’t just a game; it’s a hieroglyphic adventure. Come to the all-new Pharaoh Park, witness the magic, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll find a scarab beetle in your nachos.

That’s nacho beetle!, added Altair.



About the Cairo Pharaohs The Cairo Pharaohs are a professional baseball team, steeped in tradition and driven by innovation. With a commitment to excellence and a passion for the game, the Pharaohs are a beacon of sportsmanship and unity.