News Kids in Town
By Khepri Quraishi, Epypt Today Sports
February 25, 2047
Today there is a new general manager in place in the Cairo Pharaohs front office. Well, new in a way. Two-time Landis Cup winning general manager Joe Geoghegan has come limping out of retirement to take over the limping Pharaohs of the Unified Middle East Baseball Association (UMEBA). Unified Middle East? Like really! Rarely has the Middle East ever been considered unified. But it is for the purposes of baseball only.
And as he takes over the baseball operation, I concurrently take over the authorship of the “Pharaoh Moans” column in Egypt Today. Who am I? Well, you probably didn’t want a female reporter, but you’ve got one now. Khepri means Morning Sun in Arabic. So I shall be your morning sun baseball pundit. Live with it! You’ll get used to it. Maybe.
So what’s up for the Pharaohs? Well, they nicely lost 109 games last season, their first. So there isn’t much way they can get worse. Is there? Geoghegan takes over as Spring Training begins, so he won’t have much of a chance to put his own personal touches on the roster. As old and set in his ways that I know him to be, he will likely take credit for any improvement but blame the prior GM if there is none.
How’s the roster look with some returnees, some free agent signings, and eight rule five draft wannabes?
First Base
Most likely starter will be Lawrence Blanchard who hit .303 last season for the Pharaohs. He doesn’t have the power you want in a first baseman but at least he can hit and play the field well.
Second Base
Dublin native Tyler Shacklady came over from Bucharest mid-season last year and basically sucked, hitting just .188 for Cairo. Still, he shines in the field and works very hard. But he’s got to do better than .188 or he’ll be looking for work.
Shortstop
Free agent signee Dashiell Fairebon couldn’t hit in the Brewster. An accomplished infielder, maybe he’ll do better in the UMEBA. Another candidate is rule five guy Quintin Trewartha. The Australian is a whiz in the field and managed to hit .252 in AAA for Bucharest’s Luanda team last season.
Third Base
Maybe it will be Francisco Hernandez, a 15th round draft pick back in 2038. But he hit only .241 at AAA Pretoria last year. If Trewartha plays short, Faiurebon could get a shot here.
Left Field
A lot of hope is riding on rule five pick Eliseu Satino who impressed with a .369 batting average last year in AAA for Baghdad.
Center Field
Michel Noël hasn’t much power, but he hit .291 last season for Hawaii in the BBA. Plus he can run and field. He’s a lock in center.
Right Field
Guillermo Ramírez joined Cairo mid-season last year and hit .289. He’s just adequate defensively but seems assured the starting job.
Catcher
Veteran backstop Diesel Dave played for years with Chicago and Omaha in the BBA before joining the Pharaohs last season. He’s easily the highest paid player on the squad.
Designated Hitter
Seinosuke Muto will probably lead the Pharaohs in home runs. He failed at Yellow Springs in the BBA, but he slugged 29 home runs for the Pharaohs last year. If he improves on his .262 average, he could be a star.
Rotation
Johan Trojka was just 8-16 last year, leading the UMEBA in losses. Hopefully he returns to his 2043-2044 form.
Miguel Ramos is an iron man and always pitched well in the BBA. He should prosper in the UMEBA.
Steven Bobovnik was an underachieving reliever in the BBA, so a spot in the final rotation seems unlikely.
Jorge Sandoval is just 22 and making the jump from AAA where he struggled a bit last year. He has the skills to make the jump off his rule five acquisition.
Shea Valance comes over from Tripoli via trade. At age 21 he is still improving and hopes to nail down a spot.
Jason Donaldson is trying to jump from AA to Cairo and might just make it on this, his first shot.
Bullpen
Robert Hobbs is a closer candidate who severely underperformed last season
Fernando Carrasco came to Cairo late last season after struggling with Riyadh
Manuel Bruno pitched very well here last year, posting a 1.80 ERA
José Flores is a rule five pick from Mumbai who did well enough in AAA last year
José Olivas struggled as a starter last year with Cairo and may do better in the pen
Jorge Olvera appeared in 64 games last year with a 3.66 ERA
Miguel Ortíz was 4-16 last year as a starter; is the bullpen the answer?
Laurent Durand was decent enough in 60 games last year
