CAIRO — There was a lot of excited chatter in the room as reporters waited for the big announcement. Only thing was, they weren’t sure what was about to be announced. There were rumors that the team had hired a new manager. But there was also a growing chorus of people asking when the team’s new look would be unveiled, so that was also expected to happen soon.
Pharaohs GM Woody Donahue entered the room, accompanied by owner Taqi Lodhi, and took his seat at the podium. “We have a big announcement today, folks,” he chirped.
“We’ve hired a manager,” said Donahue. “We felt it was important to have someone at the helm early in the offseason to help guide our player decisions.”
This was met with a lot of enthusiastic murmuring.
“No, no, that wasn’t the big announcement,” said Donahue. “I mean, a manager is great, but we really just needed someone to model the uniforms.”
At that moment, the lights in the interview room dimmed, and someone from outside the room rolled a red carpet down the aisle between the pods of reporters. Electronic music started playing from somewhere.
“Now if you’ll direct your attention to the runway, I’m very pleased to introduce our road unis, modeled by your Pharaohs manager for 2046, Kevin Strong!”
A tall, 50-something man emerged from the doorway at the back of the room. He walked down the carpet as gracefully as should be expected of someone of his age and stature. He won’t ever be a model on Project Runway, but it must be said that he held his own.
The jersey he was wearing was sleek, modern, and represented a new direction for Cairo — whose teams have historically tended towards more classic looks. A deep, dark blue with “Cairo” written in bold script lettering across the chest. On the left sleeve was the “Angry Pharaoh” from the team’s official logo. On his cap, a curly letter “C”.
Kevin Strong joined Donahue and Lodhi at the podium at that point to take questions.
“Now, I know you all want to ask about the uniforms,” Strong said. “But in case anyone wants to know anything about me, I’m open for questions.”
“Maybe we can start with what I’ve been doing for the last ten years?” A valid question, since it has been a decade since his last managerial job. “I took some time away from the game. Did a bit of soul searching, and it led me to the Middle East. Mind you, this was back in the ‘30s, when UMEBA was just getting started, and definitely not what it is today. I had a few offers, but none that I seriously considered. Honestly, I wrote the UMEBA off as some popularity stunt, I didn’t give it five years. But now, I’m honored to join a team like the Pharaohs. It beats the hell out of Florida.”
Strong managed the Vero Beach Crusaders of the old Florida Prospect League for five years in the 2030s, leading them to two Elite Cup championships, and netting himself the Manager of the Year award in 2035. In those five seasons, his team never finished with a losing record, and his career W-L record is a very impressive 102-38. But he’ll be the first to admit that a major-league UMEBA gig is different from managing in the FPL.
“This is the big time. The FPL was babysitting 18-year-olds for a couple weeks until their parents came to pick them up at the end of the season. The UMEBA is a real major league and all the challenges that come with it.”
“You know how they say, ‘dress for the job you want’?” posited Strong, gesturing at his uniform. “I think I’ve accomplished that here today.”
Strong’s contract with Cairo is for 3 years, at $704,000/year.
After taking a few more questions, he took a short break to go change into the team's home uniforms, commenting as he did so, "Can't we hire some clubhouse guys for this? I mean seriously."
Pharaoh Moans (2046-02): New Unis Unveiled; Strong Named Manager
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Pharaoh Moans (2046-02): New Unis Unveiled; Strong Named Manager
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Re: Pharaoh Moans (2046-02): New Unis Unveiled; Strong Named Manager
Love the unis, very nice!
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Re: Pharaoh Moans (2046-02): New Unis Unveiled; Strong Named Manager
The image of a manager walking down the runway modeling a uniform is pretty funny. Nice job on them. Good luck!
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Re: Pharaoh Moans (2046-02): New Unis Unveiled; Strong Named Manager
Great job!
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