A hush falls upon the crowd of assembled journalists in a small basement room somewhere in Piranhas Park. At the front of the room, Brisas owner Tariq bin Habib sits at a table next to his new GM. He motions for everyone to take their seats and quiet down. Seconds later, Buenos Aires Mayor Johnny Rico grabs a chair from the audience and plants himself next to the two men, despite never receiving an invitation to do so. No longer capable of surprise at the age of 64, the owner begins without even glancing at Rico:
[bin Habib] Look everyone, let me start off by saying that this move to Buenos Aires has been the best decision this franchise has ever made. The outpouring of support by the fans has been incredible, and we haven't even started yet. I have had my share of GMs over the years with mixed results. I am tired of that. I want to win now and win big. That is why I hired BP...sorry, that is his nickname...to be GM. Yes, he was the only one who applied. And yes, he has never been a GM in a real league before. But he knows what he is doing, I promise you. Okay, let's have your questions.
[Trent Crimm III, El Independiente] Trent Crimm III, El Independiente...BP, there are rumors that you are not very knowledgeable about baseball and that you don't trust your manager and coaches to do their jobs. What do you have to say about that?
[BP] First of all, I fully trust Stelio as manager. After he explained his job to me, it made perfect sense. And he turned in one hell of a TPS report yesterday. Will I make him use my lineups? Yes. Will I make any decisions in game? Of course not. I don't even plan to watch the games and will likely just check in once in a while.
As for my baseball knowledge, I am not sure where this is coming from. I watched every episode of that ancient tv show The Baseball Bunch. What more can be learned?
[Trent Crimm III, El Independiente] Trent Crimm III, El Independiente...are you serious right now?
[BP] Absolutely, though I forgot to mention that I also watched that old movie Major League unconverted to 64K holographic. I know exactly how big league clubs work now. On my first day, I used all that knowledge. I studied what this club has done in the past. I interviewed every staff member. Everything pointed back to a big mistake that was made in 2046. The disastrous trade of Shea Valance. Everyone in the organization wanted him back, so I wasted no time in locking him up for 2 years for $17.2M. He will fit perfectly as our #2 starter right behind Mahad Einan. We also needed to get better at shortstop so I also went out and signed a 2-year $4.3M deal with Juan Luis Manuel.
[Trent Crimm III, El Independiente] Trent Crimm III, El Independiente...clearly you know what you are doing BP. Mr. bin Habib, can you explain why the ballpark is currently called Piranhas Park when the team shed that name when moving here to Buenos Aires?
[bin Habib] Some things are out of my hands Trent.
[Rico] Actually, that's my fault. I got confused. I might not be the smartest, but I can kill bugs good. Just call Rico's Pest Control.
[Trent Crimm III, El Independiente] Trent Crimm III, El Independiente...Mayor Rico, thanks for interjecting as I do have a question for you. I understand the city has been dealing with a spirited yet often violent group of Brisas' fans that call themselves Rico's Roughnecks. Word on the street is that you are not being tough enough on them. Your thoughts?
[RIco] I am honored to lead..I mean...be the namesake of this group. They will ensure we take no prisoners this season!
2051.1 Rico's Roughnecks - Opening Presser
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Re: 2051.1 Rico's Roughnecks - Opening Presser
He's here he's there he's fucking everywhere Trent Crim, Trent Crim?
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Re: 2051.1 Rico's Roughnecks - Opening Presser
Great stuff... I loved how the reporter just kept hammering out his name... hilarious.
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Re: 2051.1 Rico's Roughnecks - Opening Presser
Yes, Trent Crimm III, El Independiente is all about Trent Crimm III, El Independiente.shoeless.db wrote: ↑Wed Jul 06, 2022 4:15 pmGreat stuff... I loved how the reporter just kept hammering out his name... hilarious.
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