Piranha Bites: 46.09 - Hungover Pirahna Regulars Rested After Wildcard Revelry

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Piranha Bites: 46.09 - Hungover Pirahna Regulars Rested After Wildcard Revelry

Post by tylertoo » Sun Apr 25, 2021 6:13 pm

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Tripoli, September 26, 2046 - Piranhas manager Randy Stinson has etched out a lineup card for tonight's game consisting entirely of bench players, after realizing that his regulars were hungover and in no condition after last night's wildcard celebration.

The Piranhas clinched the Bancroft Division Wildcard after last night's 3-0 shutout against Athens, eliminating the Bucharest Impalers from the wildcard hunt. The game was emblematic of the season, with contributions from the team's three top players: 3B Michael Best driving in Takechi Eida in the 7th, and starter Mahad Einan, the club's ace, pitching 7 masterful innings of scoreless ball.

Once the final out registered, and the wild card was claimed, the revelry began:



Reporters struggled to get decent quotes. "We're nah done yeh," slurred Best. "We still have things, uh, we want to win, still because we're nah done yeh, yah know?"

"We punched our ticket baby!" yelled Charlie Iron-Knife. "Mumbai's a bunch a puss--" Teammate José 'Butcher' Serrano quickly jumped in and stopped Iron-Knife from creating a bulletin board headline for the Bancroft Division champions, the Mumbai Metro Stars.

In the morning Stinson scrawled his all-scrubs lineup, and clubhouse attendant Otta Pyck didn't mind cleaning up the vomit-filled remains of the celebration. "I'm sure you are aware that in the post-season, anything can happen," Pyck opined. "We shall see what the future portends."

The league has yet to announce when the series will begin.

###
Mike Dunn
Chicago Black Sox (1995-1996) (2049-2054)
Landis Champion: '95, '96

Edmonton Jackrabbits (2047-2048)
Tripoli Piranhas (2044-2046)

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