Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

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Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by tylertoo » Sat Mar 06, 2021 7:27 am

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SHOCKING EXCLUSIVE!!

Tripoli, May 5, 2046 - Sources tell Piranha Bites that the front office of the Tripoli Squad is so disgusted with the lack of talent in this year's UMEBA amateur draft that they have relegated decisions to the clubhouse janitor, Otto Pyck.

"Frankly, our 12th round picks the last two years are better than any of these bums," said one source, speaking on condition of anonymity because he prefers to keep his job. "We didn't want to waste any time trying to figure out who is worth a flyer on. So we looked around, and saw our good friend Otto mopping the locker room floor after a visiting player had vomited from a hangover, and asked him if he was interested in handling it. He was thrilled with the chance."

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Otto in the draft room.
Otto himself refused to comment, but Piranha Bites has obtained exclusive video of Otto Pyck in the draft room, getting ready for an upcoming selection (see left).

Otto, according to the source, was deemed qualified because he plays both fantasy baseball (and thus follows real-life players) as well as a baseball 'sim' program called Out of the Park Baseball. "With that kind of background, Otto was perfectly capable of handling this draft," said another source. (The current version, OOTP47, includes a Virtual Reality component in which you don a VR headset so it appears you are sitting behind a GM's desk looking at spreadsheets and sending emails. It also includes incremental improvements to the coaching system).

With the first round pick, Otto chose 16-year old Rusty Davis, a starting pitcher with Guam Emperors, part of the Oceania Baseball Academy. According to a leaked scouting report: "Rusty has already developed three solid pitches, a fastball, cutter and forkball, and is working on a changeup. He won't be a star, by any means, but neither will anyone in this draft class."

But our same sources say Otto Pyck ignored the scouting reports and chose Davis simply because Pyck is a fan of the film "Bull Durham" which stars Kevin Costner as another Davis, "Crash" Davis. "Good as reason as any, given this draft," Pyck was said to have remarked.

Sources say Davis, 16, also recently began to shave, which is viewed as a promising development.
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Re: Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by Lane » Sat Mar 06, 2021 11:12 am

"incremental advances to the coaching system"

:crazylaugh:
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Re: Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by allenciox » Sun Mar 07, 2021 9:52 am

Oh, this is too funny... could this be a candidate for a Vic award? Maybe.

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Re: Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by RichY » Sun Mar 07, 2021 12:23 pm

:D nicely done as usual Mike
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Re: Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by shoeless.db » Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:14 pm

Can’t believe I missed this. Hilarious.
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Re: Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by jleddy » Thu Mar 18, 2021 6:11 pm

shoeless.db wrote:
Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:14 pm
Can’t believe I missed this. Hilarious.
Same! Too good.

Is Lis Pyck related to Otto?
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Re: Exclusive: Piranhas Leave Amateur Draft Decisions to Clubhouse Janitor, Otto Pyck

Post by tylertoo » Thu Mar 18, 2021 7:52 pm

jleddy wrote:
Thu Mar 18, 2021 6:11 pm
Is Lis Pyck related to Otto?
Cousin, most likely.
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