Tripoli, June 8, 2045: The surprising freefall of the 22-41 Tripoli Piranhas resulted in a trade and a firing as the front office scrambles to salvage the season.
"Our bats haven't been terrible," said GM Mike Dunn, "Not great -- the team is fifth in the league in runs scored. But our pitching is an abomination. Next to last in ERA and other indicators. I know the staff is mostly young, but that's not acceptable. Neither is our win/loss record. Changes were needed." The team has a 5.44 ERA and opponents are batting .289 against the staff.
So veteran pitching coach Rezal Qasim was shown the door, replaced by the little-known Emilio Rivera. Qasim refused to comment about the sudden firing. One snarky pundit tweeted, "I call that Silence of the (Sacrificial) Lamb."
Nishikawa will be a calming presence for the young Tripoli starters
Rivera, the new pitching coach, is also known for working with youngsters. Both he and Nishikawa have their work cut out for them. The team has called up four young starting pitchers, Mahad Einan, Shea Valance, Jayden Nicholls, and Cedric Bolitho -- average age of roughly 19.
"The team's freefall, in a sense, is a good thing for the kids," said Dunn, trying to make chicken salad out of something else. "With little to no hope of getting a wildcard berth, the pressure is off. I think Emilio and Tak can help them relax and have some fun - to remind them it is just a game."
Privately, though, naysayers abound in the front office and clubhouse. The Piranhas had hope to contend for the Bancroft Division wildcard that they earned in 2044. Instead, they are trying to avoid the ingominy of owning the worst record in UMEBA. "Qasim was the fall guy," says one skeptic who requested anonymity. "Dunn will only find the real answer by looking straight in the mirror."