The Brewster

by Faadil el-Badie, Tripoli Times National Baseball Correspondent

Tripoli, May 12, 2044 - Libyan Supreme Commander General Razeen Akbad el-Assad today announced that all Libyan children will receive mandatory baseball training starting at age three.

"We intend to win the hearts and minds of the Western World," said Gen. el-Assad in a televised address to the nation. "It is clear from the success of the Libyan Generals, our new team in the Unified Middle Eastern Baseball Association, that this so-called American pastime can be exceedingly popular in our country. By training a new general of national ballplayers, we will be able to infiltrate the rest of baseball, particularly the Brewster Baseball Association, where supposedly the best players compete. If we can't defeat them militarily, we will defeat them on the field, and at the turnstiles."

The General accompanied his announcement by issuing a new Official Decree banning the sport of football throughout Libya. Sources indicate that several rebel organizations intend to defy the order and continue playing their still-favorite sport. "This could be a tipping point," said one guerilla leader, Lt. Ghaamid al-Mahdavi. "Baseball puts me to sleep, frankly. It is far more exciting to watch men running up and down a field kicking a ball and hoping it goes in a net. General el-Assad has overstepped his boundaries. He best watch his head; he might wake up without it one day."

The baseball announcement came shortly after the Libyan Generals announced the hiring of an American, Mike Dunn, as general manager. Dunn was briefly a GM in the BBA but dropped out of sight after winning consecutive Landis Memorial championships in 1995 and 1996 with the Chicago Black Sox. "There was nowhere to go but down," he told us. "So I left." However, sources in Chicago at the time indicated Dunn was forced out because of ongoing drinking and gambling issues, as well as word that he encouraged Black Sox fans to riot after the first title. Dunn at the time dismissed those reports as "nonsense" fueled by jealous fellow GMs. Dunn promptly disappeared from baseball and public life for a number of years until surfacing in Tripoli. "Now we'll see if his titles were a fluke," grinned one fellow GM, requesting anonymity.

Now Dunn faces the daunting task of running the Libyan baseball club (17-21) amid growing civil strife. "I don't know much about this league," he admitted in an exclusive interview with the Times. "But last I checked the balls are still round here, the bats are still wood, and that's pretty much all that matters." (UMEBA uses metal bats). Dunn refused to comment on reports that he took the job after filing for bankruptcy in the United States following a series of failed investments, and that he was unable to get any job in any other organized baseball league, even as a Little League coach. "I'm done," Dunn said, angrily cutting off the interview. "I have to go learn this roster."

Yes! UMEBA in need of some good writing.

Indoctrination is the only way, I suppose.

Dington wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 18, 2020 11:01 pm

Yes! UMEBA in need of some good writing.

There's been good writing Herb, John, Chuck, Nige who was in the UMEBA not that long ago its just that its mostly just a couple of GMs at a time.

Clayman wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 19, 2020 1:06 am

There's been good writing Herb, John, Chuck, Nige who was in the UMEBA not that long ago its just that its mostly just a couple of GMs at a time.

Agree. I have read through Herb's Libya posts as a good introduction to the team.

Oh, my goodness... I laughed until I cried from laughing.

Clayman wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 19, 2020 1:06 am

Dington wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 18, 2020 11:01 pm

Yes! UMEBA in need of some good writing.

There's been good writing Herb, John, Chuck, Nige who was in the UMEBA not that long ago its just that its mostly just a couple of GMs at a time.

Yes, there’s been some good writing, but hasn’t been much lately. Glad to see it back. Love reading about what’s going on in UMEBA.