Tripoli, June 2, 2044 - The ceiling in the General Manager's office in the rodent-infested bowels of General Field leaks in at least five different spots. New GM Mike Dunn hasn't bothered to fix them, and instead uses their constant drip, drip, drip as a water-torture-like reminder of how far the team has to go.
"My favorite leak is the one directly above my desk," he told Generally Speaking this week, several days after taking the new post. "It drips onto my roster list of the entire organization and blurs the print of their names. This allows me to imagine we actually have some decent players."
Ouch, we say. Though probably true.
Dunn inherited an organization in disarray since the sudden departure of Herb DeSpain, who left when the Montreal Blazers lured him to the MBBA to rejuvenate that franchise. Sources indicate that the MBBA Commissioner's Office then stepped in for a time to keep the Generals afloat in the name of competitive balance.
"That certainly helped a bit, but this is still a gawd-awful mess," Dunn told us as he poured through the damp roster sheet. Now his goal is simply to make sense of the roster, eliminate deadwood, and put younger players in a position where they can best develop."I don't need my minors packed with a dozen 26-year old fifth outfielders. They are preventing our young talent from developing."
To further make that point, Dunn promptly emailed in to the league a slew of transactions, including the outright release of at least seven position players and pitchers. "I wish them well in their next careers." Fans took to Twitter to openly question some of the cuts, risking their freedom in light of Libya's ban on all social media. "I love our fans," Dunn said when asked about the criticism. "Even the ones who've been imprisoned."
Dunn also made his first trade since taking the helm of the Libyan squad, shipping 27-year-old reliever Chuck Barnes to the Beirut Cedars, getting 22-year-old minor league first baseman Marco Acheson and 21-year-old minor league left fielder Trent Mangan in return. "I like both the kids," he said. "And Barnesy didn't fit into our long term plans. I hope he sees some post-season action."
Oh, the Agony
Other moves are planned to at least keep the big league squad reasonably competitive. The team is seven games behind the first place Manama Pearls in the Bancroft League. "Pearls?" Dunn snickered. "What kind of team goes by the name 'Pearls'?"
And with that, he returned to his desk for more roster work, still fully unperturbed by mice scurrying by, and by the steady drip, drip, drip onto his desk from above.
