Seven Curses of Camacho
Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:15 pm
Upon foul mouths do lies become. Yet, truth -- truth -- hides upon the stench. --- "Prophesy of Wings", Carlos Camacho
Step onto an empty baseball field and try not to feel the creep of mystery overtake your soul. Baseball, you see, is a spirit. It is alive and manifests itself into the men who grace its fields.
But, we often simplify the spirit. We do it to save ourselves from our ignorance. It's the not knowing that haunts us, and we temper that haunting with superstitions and half-truths -- with unwritten rules and gut feelings. Balancing on the edge, we play the game. Yet, the spirit lives, fully.
On occasion, a man, with a strong mystery of his own, will crack the webbing between the worlds, gaining awareness of peripheral shadows of the true mystery of baseball. Through folly, the man will believe he understands, and he will succumb to his own failings.
Carlos Camacho is one such man. The darkness in his soul coupled with his fouled understanding of the spirit results in a jealousy manifested into curses. You see, any general manager who seeks Camacho's employ -- those who willingly sign him to play, yet, in the end, leave him or trade him -- are the prey of his carnivorous curses. Alan Ehlers, Ron Collins, Kyle Stever, Matt Rectenwald, Doug Olmsted, Stephen Shaw, Tyler Simmons -- these are damned.
Below are extracts from Camacho's work, "Prophesy of Wings", detailing the Seven Curses of Camacho:
1. Alan Ehlers, Brooklyn Robins
Acquired Camacho: 4/10/2028 (2028 Draft: Round 1, Pick 22)
Curse Enacted: 12/16/2035 (traded to Yellow Springs for $5 million)
Suckle me as a babe. Nourish me. Grow me strong.
To Destroy Me?
Let thy eggs be crushed in the nest. Let thy cyclones fall upon an endless sea. Let thy passions become sand.
2. Ron Collins, Yellow Springs Nine
Acquired Camacho: 12/16/2035 (trade with Brooklyn)
Curse Enacted: 8/25/2037 (traded to Huntsville for Mike Franklin)
Am I nothing? Does thy mechanical abacus not calculate my soul?
Let thy feasts be plentiful. Let thy cabinets be full. But let thy mouth taste no nourishment.
3. Kyle Stever, Huntsville Phantoms (out of league)
Acquired Camacho: 8/25/2037 (trade with Yellow Springs)
Curse Enacted: 11/16/2037 (not resigned)
Pulled to shore and left to shiver in the wind.
Let thy be what thou are -- a phantom.
4. Matt Rectenwald, Las Vegas Hustler/Nashville Bluebirds
Acquired Camacho: 1/16/2038 (signed as free agent, 3yr/$9.8m)
Curse Enacted: 2039-2040 Off-season (Rectenwald left for Nashville)
Am I a favored whore? A simple entertainment? To leave?
Let thy seasons be cold lovers.
5. Doug Olmsted, California Crusaders
Acquired Camacho: 7/28/2040 (traded from Las Vegas for Matt Wilson)
Curse Enacted: 8/25/2040 (released)
Such impulse. Such need. Empty.
Let thy suffer endless cuts upon thy heart. Let thy stand forever in the shadows of those before you.
6. Stephen Shaw, Louisville Sluggers
Acquired Camacho: 9/5/2040 (signed as free agent, 1yr/$2m)
Curse Enacted: 11/23/2040 (not resigned)
Paltry and Shallow.
Let thy armor fail you. Let thy arms turn to ash. Let thy greed consume you.
7. Tyler Simmons, Jacksonville Hurricanes (out of league)
Acquired Camacho: 4/3/2041 (signed as free agent, 1yr/$3m)
Curse Enacted: 7/6/2041 (Simmons resigned)
Hope. Like a candle. Snuffed.
Let thy winds take you. For their whip will silence you.
