The Dredge Report | 40.05 | Hair on a Terror

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The Dredge Report | 40.05 | Hair on a Terror

Post by Dington » Wed Apr 22, 2020 3:43 pm

Hair on a Terror

June 16, 2042
by Anonymous
Location Unknown

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Will the uncertainty in Kuwait City ever cease? This team has been the most frustrating team to cover since the Kuwait City Bomb Squad cricket teams of the ‘20s. At least the Bomb Squad had a reputable ownership with a clear vision, even if that vision was to field a team merely of the sultan’s help. I mean, who could ever forget chambers maid, Hawwa Ahmed, crashing into the fence while tracking the ball. What a badger! Anyway, back to our dull reality of this wishy-washy Alhafr team of “professionals.”

After a forgetful April record of 5-23, the Alhafr seemed to have a few things figured out in May, going a more respectful 11-17. Thus far in June, they have a winning record of 9-6, certain to go downhill as the team cannot create a consistent streak for more than a week. It seems they have run up their win cap this past week, with easy victoried over the Manama Pearls, sweeping the four game set. But owner, Domingo Rivera, has vowed to doom the Pearls at any cost. The sweep surely saved GM Chad Nason from the axing block this week.

Before the sweep, they took 3 of 4 from the Cairo Chariot Archers. Nason will do his best to get by Baghdad Kings tonight after losing 4 of the past 5 to the Kings.

“You’d think they’d give us a little bit of a break after being so kind in helping them achieve first place. Not only have we provided them with enough easy wins, they used our own Afalawas Erevu against us! He struck out all five of us he faced last night and picked up the W. That is NOT the conversation that took place before we dealt him! Worst spy ever!” said Nason.

While Erevu may have been a thorn in Kuwait City’s side last night, the fruit of his return should be sweet. Nason traded Erevu to Baghdad for SP prospect, Wally Bowden. The addition will be nice after second round draft pick, Thomas Mclaren, chose greed over humiliating losses in scorching heat instead of signing with the Alhafr. Bowden looks to be a promising pitcher that should be near the top of the rotation in years to come. Nason also picked up 3B Gilbert Hansen and his expiring contract, but his leadership could be what keeps Kuwait City on track.

“Having Hansen in the clubhouse has really been a morale boost, especially for some of former BBA players who thought we made a mistake signing in the UMEBA. He’s been kicking our asses into gear and making us more accountable for our poor play” says BURT player of the week, Drew Hair.

Image Drew Hair

Hansen may have been the missing piece to the disastrous puzzle. Entering the month batting a measly .222, Hair has been smashing the ball since Hansen’s arrival and is now batting over .300. He was awarded BURT player of the week after hitting .565 last week and the Alhafr fan base can only hope the hot streak continues. Please just stop teasing us fans with a hot week followed by two cold weeks.
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