The 2058 amateur draft is now complete. Teams will soon be able to negotiate and try and sign guys for their minor league roster. We've already discussed Portland's number 1 pick Bill Fredrick in another TN so we won't here. This is about the other 14 picks.
But this won't be a normal draft review. I mean how much can someone say about a 6/5/5/6/5 rated 1B or a 7/6/2/5/7 middle infielder or outfielder with no defensive ability. No, we won't break guys down that way. Instead, we'll evaluate them based on what we think about their names.
Guy We Hope Makes It Because We Love His Name
Armand Storm
Back in High School, me and this other guy had a conversation about how certain names just sound badass. If your last name is Gunn or Cannon, then odds are you're a badass. Well, I'm adding Storm to that. Armand Storm would be a badass guy to talk about down the road. He has promise if he can find a few bumps in the right places (Drafted in Round 4, pick 6, 116 overall)
Guy Most Likely to Sing "Dumps like a truck, truck, truck" On Stage At A Karaoke Bar
Cisco Hearne
He's only 16 so no bars for this young man. Granted, he's more likely to make a living as a bartender than a big league pitcher (Drafted in Round 11, Pick 6, 336 overall)
Guy You'd Have to Send a Direct Link To Another Team Because It Feels Like There Are 50 Of Already In The League
Jose Leon
It just feels like there should be 100 Jose Leon's in the league. Granted I can't name one nor did I look this up before making this assumption*. (Drafted Round 16, Pick 6, 496 Overall)
Honorable Mention to Rodrigo Ortiz**
Guy Whose Name I'd Misspell When Writing About Him In a Team News
Taiaho Havika
It's the extra "A" that would get me. Granted his first name shows in the tab so I'm sure I'd get it right most of the time but would have to look up at the other tab to remind me of how to spell his first name. (Drafted in Round 12, Pick 6, 368 Overall)
Guy Most Likely To Cook Meth And Be Wearing a Wife Beater In His Mugshot Photo
Johnston Redman
He's listed as being from Michigan but I'm pretty sure you could put that man's name here in my home area in the rural surroundings of Southwest Virginia and he'd fit right in. Probably have a jacked up diesel truck, dual exhaust, and a "wine 'em dine 'em 69 'em" bumper sticker on the window. (Drafted in Round 17, Pick 6, 528 overall)
Guy Whose Name Just Rolls Off The Tongue
Bartolo Soto
You just said it multiple times to test my theory didn't you? (Drafted in Round 13, Pick 6, 400 overall)
Guy Whose Parents Didn't Put Much Thought Into Him And Desperately Needs A Nickname
Ed Ross
Not Edward or Eddie. Just... Ed. I bet his parents liked happy little trees. (Drafted in Round 18, Pick 6, 560 overall)
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* I looked it up. There have been ZERO Leon's ever make it to the BBA. In fact, I couldn't find one in the Rookie or Single A history either. Damn! I guess that's what I get for assuming.
** I should have gone with him as my first choice. Vancouver had a Rodrigo Ortiz in 2043. There have been 4 other R. Ortiz's in league history. There have been 7 Ricardo Ortiz's to have played in Rookie League Ball, but only the one other Rodrigo.
