Hold My Log - 57.33 - League Not Happy With "Date Kate" Promotion

[7teen]

As we approach the All-Star break for the 2057 season, the Portland Lumberjacks find themselves being somewhat competitive in the Frick League. And by somewhat competitive we mean they are right at .500 with a 40-41 record. The team was actually 40-39 for a brief moment but we won't mention anymore of that. Their solid record to this season is in large part due to the team's play at home in front of the home fans at the Trail in Multnomah. Portland has played just 33 of its 81 games at home thus far and sport an outstanding 22-11 record at home. That home clip is one of the better ones in the Frick League and tops the Pacific Division.

But if you can do the math, you'll notice Portland has played a lot of road games thus far and will have more home games over the final half of the season. In an effort to keep attendance levels and spirits high in Portland, the team's marketing department devised a season long promotional idea that has drawn criticism from the league offices in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin.

"I think it's a great idea" commented team General Manager Chris Wilson. "If it gets butts in the seats, keeps profits rolling, and all parties involved are ok with it, then what's the harm?"

"I didn't really get a say" said team AGM Kate Fiscus. "Considering I don't see it happening anyway, then sure, why not."

"It's borderline prostitution" commented one league official. "We're waiting to hear back from the courts on if this is even legal. If it is legal, then it is surely in bad taste."

So the promotional idea is pretty simple. Fans must be in attendance to win. If Cernunnos Haberknuckle hits a homerun in a home game, then one lucky fan in attendance that night will we a night out on the town with Portland AGM Kate Fiscus.

Needless to say the promotion has drawn criticism and many questions from the league. What if a child wins? Are there age restrictions? Marital status of the recipient? Again, is this prostitution?

"Prostiution involves sexual activity" commented Wilson, "it's just a friendly evening where a lucky fan can hang with someone in the Portland front office."

"But it could involve sex, right" joked Kate.

"And there will be guidelines" added Wilson. "Fans must be 21 to enter. We view this as if a player hits a homerun sign and a fan wins a car. That winner must be a licensed driver. So anyone over 21 can win a night out with Kate if Cernunnos hits a homerun."

"I'm hoping a woman wins" added Kate.

For those wondering what the odds are on this even occuring, well, they aren't good. Habernuckle has played in the BBA for parts of 5 seasons and has collected 410 at-bats. Over that span, he has yet to hit a homerun. In the minor leagues, he hit 5 homeruns over different levels but has yet to hit one in the BBA.

"Sounds fun" added Cernunnos when hearing of the promotion. "I'll try and swing extra hard now when I get at-bats at home."

Habernuckle is 4 for 15 at home this season with no extra base hits.

**League Update**
League officials have forced the Lumberjacks to rename the Promotion "Meet and Greet with Kate" instead of "Date Kate" for the message it sends to fans.

[Jwalk100]

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[Dington]

I bid $69 million bonus funds.

[Dington]

Oh. Got excited reading the title. Now have to rely on a Lumberjack hitting a homer? Ugh.

[neugey]

I feel like I'm one of the few GM's that hasn't smashed Kate during "trade talks"

[7teen]

I feel like I'm one of the few GM's that hasn't smashed Kate during "trade talks"

Send us Pepe Rivera and she's all yours!

[neugey]

I feel like I'm one of the few GM's that hasn't smashed Kate during "trade talks"

Send us Pepe Rivera and she's all yours!

Yeah I'll send her my "pee-pee" alright ...